It's the Late Show Pots show with Stephen Colbert.

Welcome back, everybody. Give up for Lewis Cato and the Late Show band.

Folks, if you watch the show, and I hope you do, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news kitchen.

Gently mixing the most topical made-a-story flour with yogurt, which I hand-shape and fry in ghee and coat with a syrup of cardamom and saffron to make the delicate Nepalese Balusahi donuts that are in my monologue.

But sometimes, folks, after being thrown from the Gravitron ride at an unlicensed fun fair, I collect the U's runoff from a carny funnel cake friar and friccassie a discarded hot dog bun with melted starburst candies to make the grunge crawler of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile. Meanwhile.

That's tasty.

That's a tasty treat for the whole family.

Meanwhile,

Tony Hawk's skateboard from his landmark

1999-900 trick sold for about $1.15 million at auction last week.

And if you at home remember that legendary skateboarding moment, this is a great time to remind you to schedule your colonoscopy.

Shocker bra!

Now, meanwhile,

58 million pounds

of corn dogs and sausage on a stick

have been recalled over wood pieces

and the batter after the company

received multiple customer complaints.

Really? Who is making that call? Excuse me.

I would like to complain about my corn dog. It made me sick, but in unexpected ways.

Hello? Yes, I'll hold.

...