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Hi, Peeps. Help Me be me is underfunded and needs your help. If you enjoy listening to this or it helps you at all, please visit Help Me Be Me.com and click donate or visit me on Patreon. Thanks. Hi friends it's Sarah May. This is an

another one of my maternity leave records hence the

sound quality. So apologies. This is an audience Q&A episode and it's about how to deal with intense fear and anxiety over like imminent pain or suffering and then also tips for suffering in the kind of

limbo of a constant, constantly breaking up relationship where somebody, where you're the one that's kind of crawling back and asking back into a terrible relationship.

So the first one I'm gonna address is about the pain and powerlessness.

The person that wrote to me, this is a really painful situation to be in so I feel for you and hang in there

So she asks about the problems in the world the current basically world situation all the terrible things you can think of and

also somebody who's closer who is suffering from a serious illness like basically how to deal with the fears and manage the anxiety over those real and imminent things, like not hypothetical.

So I want to isolate the problem and the goal

in the face of that problem,

because obviously it's really easy to get upset when things are bad and imminent and there's real pain you will experience and are experiencing currently in anticipation of that.

And that feeling can paralyze and make you feel powerless,

which in itself is traumatizing.

When it comes to experiencing extreme pain, most important is that you retain your power and like a sense of agency, like you have a sense of control or there's some action that you can take you can be active somehow so that means over you know

Whatever tiny thing you can affect doing something so that you're not just a victim and you're not just

receiving the pain. And that'll just give you some relief, just helping the situation in any shape or form.

...