Hey deserving listeners, I compiled a bunch of emails from y'all about attachment theory, so I thought I'd get all those out of the way.

Let's answer your patron emails about attachment theory.

This first email is from anonymous patron they write, is it possible to develop

an insecure attachment as an adult? When I was 24, I had a very traumatic breakup. I'm 30 now and I've been able to hold down along

and I haven't been able to hold down a long-term relationship since that breakup at

the age of 24. After breaking up I now relate strongly to the avoidant attachment you described

in your deep dive. End of email. Yeah. So anonymous patron here is saying that prior to being 24 she might have been

secure or at least mostly secure. She had a traumatic breakup when she was 24 and

for the past six years she would describe herself as

being a voidant attachment and often when I talk about attachment theory and the

way it's often discussed in the literature is that we develop

our attachment theory in response to our relational environment when we're very young,

one, two, three, four, five years old and that that attachment

style will persist into adulthood. And yeah, research shows that there is a

correlation but it's not a guarantee for sure, and research shows that later events can change one's attachment style good and bad.

So, for example, in therapy hopefully you are experiencing a

secure attachment and will thus change your attachment style from

being insecure to more secure. So you can become more healthy

attachment-wise when you experience healthy attachments. Also, which stands to reason

if you experience damaging attachment experiences, then your

attachment style will move more towards insecure away from secure.

So attachment style does morph over time, absolutely.

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