At what moment did you realize you were dating a complete moron?

We were driving around this weird part of Las Vegas and I said,

This is surreal. And he said, I know, it's so real. I repeated surreal and he repeated

So real. We were watching Django and during during the winter training montage, there is a moment where the camera pans over a herd of reindeer.

At that moment, my ex said something about how she thought it was weird that they would include

reindeer in the movie, because it kind of breaks the immersion.

I was confused and asked what she meant by that. She went on to

explain to me how reindeer weren't real animals and just make-believe characters in a fairy tale,

like Rudolph and the rest of Santa's reindeer. I asked him what event resulted in World War I.

His response was September 11th. He was serious. When she flipped out,

because her third grader came home with the word erect on a spelling list, and was on the verge of

calling the school. She honestly had lived her entire life not knowing that that word had any other

use, aside from describing the state of a man's Johnson.

I dated a guy for about a month until I found out that he didn't realize that women's chests

made actual milk to feed their baby. He thought that describing the act of chest feeding was just

a way to hold a baby while giving it a bottle. I told him he was an idiot and he said

with a disgusted sneer, I didn't know that because I've never known any woman who had

or would feed their child that way. I told him that I'd fed my son that way and he called me

a child mistreater. When she thought I was crazy for putting pop tarts in a toaster.

Or maybe it was the time she tried making hamburger helper for the first time at 27 years old

and called me from the store to ask where they sold the brown hamburger meat.

I can't believe I dated that.

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