Starbeams come to you.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes when you're gonna have kids,

and basically no one is gonna stop pestering you about kids and family and your future plans regarding that until menopause.

Okay, we finally get a break at menopause, and then we have to deal with hot flashes. It's honestly rude.

Welcome to Unladylike. I am your host, Kristen Conger.

Today, it's time for Ask Unladylike, where I answer listener questions that Google could never.

Well, actually Google does, but I really don't recommend it.

Now, first, I gotta pull back the curtain for a hot second to acknowledge that some of you on ladies might not be happy to see an Ask Unladylike episode in your feed.

I've heard from a few of you who say, this advice giving format is bullshit. I don't like it. Give me the regular stuff.

And I briefly considered doing that, just doing away with Ask Unladylike or maybe calling it something else entirely to kind of a trick, trick the Ask Unladylike skeptics into listening anyway.

But guess what, y'all? I like it.

I like Ask Unladylike. One of my very favorite things about this podcast is hearing from y'all, hearing the stories you share, the corrections you give, and also the questions that you're wrestling with, the stuff that keeps you up at night, the stuff, maybe you're uncomfortable sharing anywhere else.

And it's a chance for me to talk directly back to y'all and share a little bit more of my own personal experience and any insights I can offer from over a decade of talking and researching about women and gender and patriarchy and all that jazz.

So, you know, it's probably poor form to start a podcast, telling some listeners why they might not like this episode, but this is Unladylike. This is where women come to break the rules, right?

So, that's broken. And before I break anything else, what do we have on deck today?

Well, we've got a trio of questions I'm calling, feminist guilt versus the wedding industrial complex.

Okay, listen to Emma writes, my partner and I have been together for nearly five years and want to take that next step.

One thing I've struggled with a lot is engagement rings. I find myself strongly opposed to diamonds and always have been for ethical, environmental, and social reasons.

Since we've been thinking about getting engaged, I find myself more and more judgmental about the choice a couple makes in what ring to get, how much money they spend, etc.

I know that's not awesome, but I can't imagine I'm the only woman experiencing it.

Engagement rings are such a personal, important piece of jewelry that I have to imagine many women dream about from the moment they know what they are, myself included.

So, why is there such a societal expectation surrounding what type, how big, how expensive a ring is?

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