Hi everyone, welcome back to Doing It, the Sex and Relationships podcast where sex has never been so nerdy with me, your host, Hannah Whitten.

This week, I'm joined by the brilliant Evie Lupine.

Evie Lupine is a professional kink and sex educator who has been involved in the BDSM lifestyle and

community for over half a decade. She is most well known for her YouTube channel where she focuses

on teaching people about relationships, asexuality and kink at all levels of experience. I wanted to

get Evie onto the podcast to talk all about being asexual and kinky and power dynamics in BDSM because I have watched her content for ages and I just think she is absolutely brilliant.

Evie and I talked all about how you can be as sexual and into BDSM, how kink has been painted as being something erotic and sexual, when for many it isn't.

Evie described how for her kink is about intimacy, sensuality, thrill, play and connection.

We talked about how everyone connects to BDSM in a different way.

For some, the power dynamic can be sexual, for some not.

And when you are asexual, the importance of discussing BDSM scenes and figuring out if you'd be compatible to play with each other.

We got really into the concept of compulsory sexuality, the pressure that exists all of the time in society to engage in sex physically, mentally, emotionally, and how this

socially ingrained pressure and expectation is alienating for asexual people.

We also spoke about what it's like dating allosexual people when you are asexual, and how

to deal with partners trying to push your boundaries. And Evie gave advice on how to deal with

the guilt some

asexual people often feel when dating alosexual people. Evie also talked to me about apobia

and the stigma and discrimination faced by asexual people outside of sexual and romantic scenarios.

We also got into Evie's own kinks and identity as a submissive.

We talked about power play and how to engage in your kink when you are single or don't have any play partners.

Evie talked about how you can submit to yourself and also spoke about the importance as a submissive

to work on your self-esteem, confidence and boundary skills to prepare yourself to be in the best place for then choosing a dominant partner.

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