Hello, this is an Arskast announcement regarding the Arskast Pricing Approach.

The price of the Arskast will go up by approximately 4% from today, in line with inflation.

In addition, the 2.5% rise in VAT brought in by the government earlier this year will also be added.

Arskast Chief Executive, Arsk bloggers, said,

We thought about this increase the first in 200 episodes, very carefully.

We understand fans are facing rising costs in many areas of their lives,

and their Arskast faces the same issues.

We have acted responsibly over the years to balance the impact of even inflationary increases on Arskast fans,

with the rightful demand that we compete at the highest bit right level and we will continue to do so.

In the meantime, a number of significant new Arskast benefits have already been decided.

An extra three minutes will be added to the average Arskast,

as well as an exciting new feature called,

Fill the Silence, in which you imagine something funny and entertaining.

Coincidentally, this will also be three minutes long.

Chances are it will be funnier than anything that woken sounding cunt can come up with anyway.

A new phone line for your comments has been added.

Holster, I don't want 50 per minute, plus 4 pans per text message.

You would read this enough to a 50 text bundle when you call.

And finally, every listener will receive a personal home visit from Sylvester,

which will have a guaranteed happy ending.

Oh, baby.

So now, insert your coins and get ready for a... wait.

...