Armageddon Updates (Part 2): The Spring Collection
Titus Podcast
Christopher Titus
4.6 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 19 June 2020
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It's springtime again...a time for rejuvenation, renewal, and rage. A time when all is blissful, blooming, and blood boiling. Like a gentle ASMR breeze, Titus, and Bombshell Rae, share their calming and thoughtful thoughts. So sit back and ignore your allergies with the last 8 (or so) Armaggedon Updates.
#TitusPodcast ... because the world is a clown show.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | everybody christopher titus guess what no podcast this week we have to restock the bunker |
| 0:14.3 | so these are the last eight weeks of me ranting and raving. |
| 0:21.1 | I hope you guys enjoy it. |
| 0:22.5 | And thanks to Bombshell and the Highlander for their amazing work on it. |
| 0:27.5 | See you guys next week. |
| 0:30.3 | I'm Christopher Titus, and this is the Armageddon update. |
| 0:32.7 | Ha-ha, lockdown, week six. |
| 0:34.1 | And today I need to put on your tinfofo hats because it's about to get weird. |
| 0:37.8 | Now, I've heard a lot of conspiracies about the 19, that the 19 was caused by China and the new |
| 0:42.7 | 5G cell phone network. So you get unlimited minutes, better coverage, and you get to meet Jesus. |
| 0:48.7 | Or it was caused by a bat, which means this Halloween, I can't make my bat lasagna. |
| 0:53.1 | Damn it. On top of that, if 5G is so awesome, why did 21 million Chinese cancel their cell phones |
| 0:59.1 | between January and March? |
| 1:00.5 | They either died or waiting for the new iPhone 12 with X-ray vision. |
| 1:04.5 | So if this killed 21 million in China, wash your damn hands. |
| 1:10.0 | So if it killed that many in China, why aren't we pulling |
| 1:12.8 | at all the stops and ordering PPE and making ventilators to fight this COVID-Nazi? |
| 1:17.4 | Because Trump and Putin are working together, tinfoil hat, huh? The only way to figure out why |
| 1:22.5 | something happens is to see who wins and you can look it up that Trump started doing business with Russia in 1987. |
| 1:29.8 | Ha! |
| 1:30.2 | He has also visited Russia almost as much as he golfs last February. |
| 1:35.4 | Trump has 30 years of ties to Russia. |
... |
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