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The Science of Happiness

Are Your Expectations Too High?

The Science of Happiness

PRX and Greater Good Science Center

Science, Social Sciences

4.41.9K Ratings

🗓️ 17 March 2022

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

High expectations can lead to disappointment, but expecting the worst doesn't feel great, either. This week we explore how to find the balance.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So, upon going back to Costa Rica, we had people over for coffee.

0:09.0

Costa Ricans have coffee every day around three o'clock in the afternoon.

0:13.0

And we invited some friends over for coffee, and they came over to our house, and my parents

0:17.0

had bought fresh bread, and the bread was warm.

0:21.0

And they flipped out.

0:23.0

I mean, they were like, oh my god, the bread is warm, it's so good.

0:28.0

And then my mom had butter, and they were like butter.

0:31.0

And then we had sour cream, and they were like, na-di-ya-yo-s-mi-o.

0:36.0

And it was like the thing, right?

0:38.0

It was just this magical moment, because clearly, the expectations, it's not like we offered

0:45.0

them something that they couldn't afford or that they hadn't seen before.

0:49.0

It was that they just showed up for coffee.

0:51.0

You know, they weren't setting their expectations on the worst coffee ever,

0:55.0

but they also weren't expecting anything more than coffee.

0:58.0

And then when we offered them more than coffee, it was not only like, not only were my expectations not bread,

1:03.0

but also the gratitude around the additional aspect of bread.

1:08.0

And that, you know, that sets the tone.

1:11.0

I mean, that was my parents' one in that moment.

1:14.0

They're like, yeah, we're the best host ever, right?

1:17.0

And then they're stoked, they're getting bread.

1:19.0

And then the conversation after that is just so light.

1:23.0

And I noticed that, that whole summer, it was like every little thing that happened above the expected

...

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