Are You Oversharing With Your Kids — or Not Sharing Enough?

Raising Good Humans

Voicing Change Media

Education, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2026

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if oversharing isn't the real problem — and the quieter habit of holding back is what's keeping us, and our kids, from the connection we're looking for? Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Harvard Business School behavioral scientist and author Professor Leslie John to challenge one of the most widespread assumptions in modern parenting and culture: that the path to healthy relationships is learning to say less. It isn't. And understanding why could change how you show up with your partner, your colleagues, and your children. Professor John unpacks the surprising science behind self-disclosure, from the hidden cost of "TLI" (too little information) to how emotional literacy quietly shapes a child's ability to make friends, trust adults, and thrive, and why learning to reveal — adaptively, not recklessly — is one of the most important skills we can grow in our kids. What you'll learn: Why adaptive revealing is a teachable skill The parenting move that quietly teaches kids their feelings are something to hide, and what to do instead Why genuine curiosity, not performance, is the secret to helping your child make and keep friends Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at ⁠GreatWolf.com⁠ Professor Leslie John has published extensively on privacy, self-disclosure, and trust, and is the author of Revealing: How People Build and Reveal Themselves to One Another.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I just had such a fascinating conversation with Professor Leslie John from Harvard Business School,
0:10.0	who wrote a book called Revealing, and she's a behavioral science researcher,
0:16.0	and she explores how strategic vulnerability and sharing personal information actually can lead to deeper relationships and professional success.
0:25.9	And today we translated that conversation into adapted revealing for young people.
0:32.0	We talked about even as early as four and five years old, like, how can you slowly help build this incredibly
0:40.2	powerful skill in your kids? How do you teach disclosure and emotional literacy? Being a good
0:47.0	revealer is so highly linked with emotional literacy and connection and relationships
0:51.5	and even good relationships with teachers.
0:55.3	Like, we went all the way through high school when we're trying to figure out, like,
0:59.5	how an adolescent can navigate that sort of tricky experience of disclosing but not too much
1:07.6	and vulnerability, but not too much. And transparency, but not too much. vulnerability but not too much and transparency but not too much.
1:13.9	And how for some people, it's just a harder skill than for others.
1:17.2	So we're talking about all of this and more.
1:19.8	It's Dr. Lisa Pressman and this is Raising Good Humans podcast.
1:27.4	I want to hear about your research in the context of the larger body of work that you do.
1:33.8	And then I want to talk about if you're raising kids and like let's say your kid
1:40.2	struggles with exposing themselves, disclosing,
1:45.5	connecting.
1:47.8	I feel like your research could translate really well
1:50.7	into how parents could kind of bolster those skills out of the gate.
1:55.3	Yeah.
1:56.2	So maybe broadly talk about your work
	...

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