Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from

parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

Are you building this? Parenting takes a lot out of us. Being parented takes a lot out of a kid, too.

Just think about how often our kids are criticized, how often they're corrected.

We're always telling them to do this and not to do that.

All day at school, their teachers are enforcing rules, letting them know how they do or don't measure up.

Is it any wonder why our kids are so often depressed or frustrated or don't want to listen? In her book, Good Enough, which I know I've been raving about, and if you haven't picked it up and grab it at the painted porch, I'll link to it in today's show notes. Dr. Becky spends a lot of time on strategies to combat this. She calls it building connection capital. And her point is that getting our kids to listen,

getting them to respond, especially in big moments on big things, depends on trust, depends on the

bond between the two of you. It depends on them feeling like they are seen and heard and understood

by the person who's supposedly doing all these things for your own good. If our kids are running

on empty, if our relationship with them is not much more than a few minutes in the morning and a few hours in the evening, tired moments in the car, denied requests, reminders to do chores and homework, why would they listen? Why would they believe we care that this thing is important that they can trust that we know best? They wouldn't. They're exhausted. They're lonely. They're tapped out,

zapped out. So if you're struggling at home, struggling to reach your kids, don't start by raising

your voice louder. You're not going to solve this problem by being stricter. You've got to start

with connection. You've got to fill them up. Secure that bond, build connection capital,

and from there, you'll be able to make some progress.

You're listening to the Daily Dad podcast, one meditation a day inspired to help you do your most important job, which is be a great father. These are

meditations inspired by ancient wisdom, psychological research, and just great strategies

from normal dads just like you. Thanks for listening.