This is the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris.

Hello, everybody. How we doing? Today we're going to talk about an aspect of the human mind,

an aspect of the inner repertoire of our species that has been an incredibly destructive force,

both for me and for humans writ large. And that is revenge seeking or grudge holding, the desire to get even.

We evolved for this. And as you'll hear in this discussion, there are some ways in which this

aspect of the human repertoire is adaptive. But, man, it misfires in many, many ways. And all

you have to do is look at the broad sweep of human history or the news today or any given day to see

how revenge has become what my guest calls an addiction. So that's the bad news, but the good

news is that there are ways to work with this very common tendency of the mind. As my guest today

says, there are better strategies than revenge seeking or rumination when you feel wronged. James Kimmel, Jr.

is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine. He's also a lawyer and a founder

and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He's the author of three

books, including the one we'll focus on today, which is called The Science of Revenge, Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction, and How to Overcome It. We talk about the horrific and violent bullying that James endured as a child, which provoked his interest in the subject of revenge. It's an extraordinary story. You'll want to hear that. We also talk about the neuroscience of revenge, i.e., what happens in your brain when you're seeking revenge, the connection between revenge and addiction, our evolutionary programming in this regard, practical strategies for addressing grievances and revenge desires, how to seek justice without revenge, an antidote for revenge cravings, and much more.

Today's episode comes with a custom guided meditation called For When You Want Revenge.

It's guided by our teacher of the month, 7A Salasi.

This meditation is only for paid subscribers over at Dan Harris.com.

Paid subs also get weekly live guided meditation and Q&A sessions every Tuesday at 4.

So check us out, Dan Harris.com, join the party.

Speaking of parties, and speaking of Sabine Selassi, if you want to meditate with me and her in person,

we will be back up at the Omega Institute for another installment of meditation party, our annual retreat.

That's coming up the weekend of October 24th. There's a link in the show notes.

Okay, we'll get started with James Kimmel Jr. right after this.

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