This is the Ramsey Call of the Day, part of the Ramsey Network.

Mary's in Boise, Idaho.

Hi, Mary, and welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hello, thank you for taking my call.

Sure.

I have a question about gift- and gifts receiving at the holidays.

My husband and I are, we don't have any debt other than, like, no credit card debt, no student loan debt.

We do have some automobile debt, not home, of course.

So we're rapidly paying those off.

And every year we tell our siblings I have three siblings my

husband has two with a total of 11 nieces and nephews plus our parents we just say no

gifts we just want to see you we just want to hang out and every year we find out

everybody's getting us gifts and then last minute we all we decide to buy them something

but it doesn't feel like it's coming from the heart so I guess my question is is it cheap of us

to know that we're going to be receiving gifts but not give gifts because we're focusing on ourselves

or is this the time when we just put our financial goals aside so that we can gift people

with something?

I don't think you're cheap.

I personally don't think you're cheap.

I think forced generosity where I'm giving you something and I'm expecting something in return,

that is not the spirit of giving to begin with.

So if you've had that conversation and they are resentful of you, then you can't carry that.

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