Are boyfriends embarrassing now? Some answers.

Love Letters

The Boston Globe

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.5 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2026

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Last fall, Chanté Joseph wrote an essay with the headline: “Is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend now?” The piece – about the politics of showing off heterosexual relationships – went viral; people debated it all over TikTok and beyond. (Even New York City’s mayor weighed in.)Months later, Meredith and Chanté sit down to discuss why the essay hit so many nerves at once. Some readers hated Chanté's essay and what it suggested about the evolving values of women.Others – namely single straight women – loved that Chanté’s essay highlighted women who are choosing to post pictures of friends instead of significant others.It’s a complicated discussion – and Part 1 in a two-part exploration of why the concept of a boyfriend can be a bit … cringey.This episode features a montage of creators who were inspired by Chanté’s essay. They are, in order of appearance: @thanahit @maryarchived @jedidahbila @JeffHarryPlays @melvinoyx @rollotomassi @boyproblemsshow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Aldi can't save you from an unexpected drenching.
0:04.4	Not again.
0:06.3	But they can save you from pouring your pennies down the drain.
0:10.3	At Tesco, frozen blueberries are 3 pounds 10.
0:13.6	But Aldi's are just 199.
0:16.7	Aldi, always finding ways to save.
0:20.1	My name is Sherlock Holmes. It's unusual name.
0:23.6	Introducing Young Sherlock, a new Guy Ritchie series.
0:27.3	What's game I would playing today? Discover the origins.
0:30.1	It's leaving. Those days are truly behind me.
0:32.4	Of crime's most iconic mind.
0:34.5	There has been a break-in.
0:36.8	Astoned. You should be a detective. Starring Hero finds break-in. Astoned.
0:37.7	You should be a detective.
0:39.0	Starring Hero finds Tiffin, Donald Finn and Colin Firth.
0:42.6	If you start wearing a hat like that, I will no longer be friends with you.
0:46.0	Young Sherlock, new original series.
0:48.1	Watch now only on Prime Video.
1:02.3	If you are very online, you know that last fall, a Vogue essay went very viral.
1:06.8	The headline was, is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?
1:14.4	To summarize, the essay writer, Shante Joseph, who's 29 and based in London, said she'd noticed something.
1:20.7	Namely, that women she followed on Instagram had started to sideline their boyfriends in photos.
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