Anthony Jeselnik - Unsolved Cheeseburger Mysteries

Dumb People Town

All Things Comedy, Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar, Dan Van Kirk

Comedy

4.6 • 5.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2020

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week Anthony Jeselnik stops into town to hear about a man who admits to the police that he’s not good at stealing cars. In story 2, a man calls the police to repost a missing cheeseburger. In story 3, a woman who thinks she is suffering with symptoms from Crohn's disease finds out that her problems are coming from an outside source.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Skarpines, come here!
0:05.7	Damned and ran in, J.W. was shared,
0:07.7	Tales of ghosts, so unaware,
0:09.5	They lack in grace,
0:10.5	And sometimes choose the life they choose,
0:12.5	Well make the news,
0:13.7	Breaking down each epic fail,
0:15.6	In Florida, there's AppRise Bell,
0:17.6	I'm happy to say that!
0:19.3	You didn't make this!
0:21.6	Don't go listening to our podcast,
0:24.4	Random with co-hosts,
0:25.8	Our main dam,
0:26.9	Don't be a jerk,
0:28.8	Don't much wet,
0:29.6	Don't use the ghost of money,
0:31.2	It's the way I've gone and take you down.
0:34.4	Stick around,
0:35.4	Make a sound,
0:36.0	Come down,
0:36.5	These dope people, town!
0:39.4	Hey, Towsies,
	...

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