Hola yo soy Ederdías y este es el podcast de pueblo católico Igei. Antes de escuchar la historia del día de hoy, quiero agradecerte tu tiempo que me des la oportunidad de acompañarte con esta historia que esté apoyando este proyecto. Si es la primera vez que estás escuchando, por favor suscríbete para que estés pendiente de los próximos capítulos. Una vez más gracias por tu apoyo, gracias por tu tiempo. Antes de escuchar la historia del día de hoy que habla sobre la terapia de conversión. conversión. Quiero decirte nada más que por motivo de privacidad, esta persona ha decidido

mantener su identidad anónima y también para permitir una mejor expresión de lo que el ha vivido vamos a hacer el episodio en inglés. Espero que puedas acompañarnos en esta historia, espero que la puedas entender. Ahora sí, vamos a escuchar la historia el día de hoy. Hola, soy de Asuida, Católico Yge. ¡Gracias por estar aquí! ¡Gracias! ¡Tienes un poco de tu childhood! Mi childhood era siempre tradicional, mexican y familia, cohes con los boys, girls with girls.

I tried my best to surround myself with my family with the ones I felt more comfortable with. Usually that was with my girl cousins. And every time that I was with them, they always separated me from them. They forced me to be with my guy cousins. I don't think it came from a wrong place. Me and my girl cousins, we always played dolls. I play with heels. And then my cousin found out or one of our babysitter cousins, one of the older ones, and then she got super pissed and then told my mom and dad. And it was a huge, huge, huge, like, ordeal when they saw me with that

going is or play with purses or dolls.

Mi pega van, me don't see terassos.

They made sure that I know that that wasn't right.

And that was not right for the thighs of God.

And then it's not normal.

And so that's what we usually do when my cousin said, but I stopped.

When cycle was getting a lot of synthesizers in and I just didn't want to do that anymore. And you guys, I'm sure we'd go to church. Yes, we would go to church every Sunday. I went to a private school all my life, starting from Kinder, elementary school, and high school. And I went to church every Thursdays, and then I went to church every Sunday's with my family. Wow. And in fact I was actually thinking of being a priest for a little while and then I think that's what my parents got a little more upset about. I was saying it and they made me get into ultra serving and I was an ultra-server boy for four years. Did you feel close to God when you were a kid? Always. I still do. God has always been an important part of my life. So when you were a kid and you were going through these moments that people around you were telling you that's not what you were supposed to do, that's not how you were supposed to act. You never felt rejected by God. I didn't feel like he was rejected me. I felt that I didn't want to be gay. I did it. I wanted to be straight. I prayed. I cried. And I felt like he wasn't listening to me. I felt ignored. But never once did I lose faith in him, and never once did I feel like he didn't love me, I just felt just ignored. When this was going on, had you come out to any of your friends? I did. Being a Catholic school, we had to go to a mandatory retreat every year. And so we went to our senior retreat. That's the first time that I ever came out to someone. And then I started coming out to my other friends from elementary school. And all their responses were the same. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. And family did not come out to my family. Not even my pretty much. That was until later in college where I started coming out to my family. What was that like? It was hard. It was really hard. I was outed twice. So the first time I was outed, it was to my cousin, a boy that thought I was cute. I didn't like him. but so he got really upset. And so at a party, my cousin was at a, he basically told her, like your cousin's gay, and he was drunk. And so he just outed me to her, and then I got a text from her. And she's like, it's like that I have to find out through someone else that you're gay. And then I try to explain to her, you know what? Like, that's not how I want you to find out. I wasn't ready. I explained to her that it was in my moment. I'm sorry. And then she's like, I can't believe you can trust me. And it was pretty devastating to know that somebody outed me. someone I really loved and I wanted to do that. And now she's the most accepting and one of the people I truly love. It took a while to mend the little bridge right there and then I started coming out to my other cousins but never to my my media family until someone out of me was with my family. What was that like? That was pretty hard. I think that was the worst because I promised myself that I was gonna start coming out. I wrote a letter to my family and I told them that I love you and I explained to them, I gay. I'm going to I'm the same son that you always loved.

So I was prepping myself.

I was talking to myself.

I was talking to friends like, okay, this is the year or next year.

And so strangely, it was my cousin's birthday.

We went to Disneyland to celebrate.

That's whenever a favorite place is to be at. Be more at home there. I got a call and that's my mom. And the tone that she had, I felt that something was completely wrong. She's just like, where are you? I'm at Disneyland, who are you with? I'm like, a moment before you met my friend. And she said, I need you home now. And I said, okay, is everything okay? And she said, I'm going to go to the house. I said, okay. And then, strangely, I looked at my cousin and my friend and I just said, hey, do you think my mom found out that I'm gay? And we all laughed and we're like, man, you know? So we went back to my cousin's house. I said, I need to go home. I thought I was going to be another fight, another week of ignoring me and then everything will be okay. I told my cousin, I'm gonna go pick up a board game and then come back so we can finish her birthday. I went home, picked up the board game and when I was already putting the board game in my car, my mom pulls in and again she was just staring at the steering wheel and and said everything okay mom, my mom went up to say hi, all of yin and then she asked me, it is gay, I didn't respond, I just said, I went to my cousin's house, dropped off and I told her like, no, I'm asking me if I'm gay. And then she's like, what are you going to say? I was like, I don't know, I don't know. So I dropped off the board game until I had a caller right after. And so I go home. I went to go change to something more comfortable because obviously I knew it was going to be a pretty tough conversation.

So I go upstairs and she asked me again, it is gay. And then I said, I said yes. And then she said, well, no way silly to papa,

to what's a silly.

And... And then she said, well, no way silly to papato va sedicile. And at that point, I was already crying, you know. She calls my dad. I think my dad kind of knew, I don't know how you knew it. And then my mom tells him, what's the ele? So the nice, I could look at my dad's eyes.

I just said, my mom incontroqué era gay.

And then my dad didn't allow me not to look down.

He said,

...