Welcome to Stuff to Blow Your Mind, a production of I Heart Radio.

Welcome to An Emalia Stupindian. My name is Argo Mandinis, newly crowned member of the ruling

Thamaturic triumvirate, Slayer of the Gray Dread and Tireless Creature Chronicles.

However mere monsters hold no mystery for me these days.

Dragons are drab.

Even the grey dread proved rather underwhelming if I'm being honest,

So instead I turn my attention once more to the strange fauna of a land called Earth.

Travel with me, gentle Rita, as we consider the Portuguese Man O War.

Common name, Portuguese Man O War.

Scientific name, Viselea, Physilis.

Frequency and Range. Tropical and subtropical oceans around the world, with

some forays into temperate regions.

Size.

Flow may reach heights of 6 inches or 15 centimeters, tentacles as long as 165 feet or 50 meters.

Diet, small fishes, plankton and crustaceans.

Treasure horde, nematous venom, Challenge rating. Three. The naming of terrestrial organisms often

confuses wizards such as myself. The Portuguese man of war is neither distinctly from Portugal, a nation of the Earth

realm, nor is it a man. Needless to say, it does not engage in war either. No, it merely earned this name due to its resemblance to sail-powered

Portuguese warships, though it is known by many other names among the peoples who encountered its sting including, ah, the floating terror.

But allow me to describe the creature itself.

Above the water line we see a large bladder filled with such gases as carbon monoxide,

oxygen, nitrogen, and argon.

...