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Four minutes after ten is the time. A very good morning to you. We should probably have some theme music, shouldn't we?

How did it used to go with Fluff Freeman, Pop Pickers?

But it's not

Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa,

that was a cinema advert.

So how did the top 10 music go? Anyway, don't, don't, we haven't got it, it's too late. So it's just a quick word for my producer. Could you imagine how frustrating it is to work with me? Not because of that

Because it's 10 o'clock

It's four minutes past 10

I've just completely changed

What we're going to open the show with

A poor woman just said to me

Listen Not because of that. Because it's 10 o'clock. It's four minutes past 10. I've just completely changed what we're going to open the show with. A poor woman just said to me, listen, all right, so which Boris Johnson scandal? So we're going to do a competition to decide which is the most egregious or the most potentially damaging investigation-stroke inquiry that the Tories are currently facing. Which one is it going to be? Is it going to be the Deems-A-Harvey one, the Dominic Rob one or the Boris Johnson one? She just sat down, expecting to talk about Jeremy Hunt and this ludicrous speech he's giving, claiming that Brexit is not actually the cause of many of the country's problems, but somehow the solution. And she's discovered that this idiot presenter has just completely changed his mind.

He's going to talk about something else.

But how telling it is that if you talk about a scandal involving the last Prime Minister but won,

the response of a professional journalist in a national radio station with record-breaking

listening figures, the response is, which Boris Johnson scandal?

...