An Hour with Melissa Febos About a Year Without Sex

Fail Better with David Duchovny

Grace Cohen-Chen

Society & Culture

4.6 • 534 Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Memoirists do the generous work of letting us into their lives, and then there are ones like Melissa Febos who also graciously entertain all the new questions their work inspires. Melissa lets me in on the elements of her life and experiences that I’m curious about, from people’s reaction to her job as a dominatrix (as documented in her book Whipsmart) to her year-long trial of celibacy (the focus of her newest book, The Dry Season). Melissa is a writer both precise and elaborate, and I can’t help but compare her to many of the literary greats. We trace the roots of her compulsive behaviors and discuss how seeking new ideals for love and connection can help to find passion in the everyday — even in a conversation. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	It's morning in New York.
0:02.8	Oh, God.
0:06.2	Hey, everybody.
0:07.3	I'm Mandy Patinkin.
0:08.7	And I'm Catherine Grady.
0:09.8	And we have a new podcast.
0:11.7	It's called Don't Listen to Us.
0:14.1	Many of you've asked for our advice.
0:16.1	Tell me, what is wrong with you people?
0:19.2	Don't listen to us.
0:20.3	Our Take It or Leave a Adv device show every Wednesday, out now.
0:24.7	A Lemonada Media Original.
0:29.8	Hey, just a quick message before we get started.
0:32.9	You can now listen to every episode of Fail Better AdFree with Lemonata Premium on Apple Podcasts.
0:39.1	You'll also get ad-free access to and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser
0:44.6	than me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more.
0:49.8	It's just $5.99 a month and a great way to support the work we do.
0:54.5	Go ad-free and get bonus content when you hit subscribe on this show in Apple Podcasts.
1:00.5	Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium.
1:19.2	I'm David Dukovni, and this is Fail Better, a show where failure, not success, shapes who we are.
1:25.4	Melissa Fibos is an author whose writing explores identity, trauma, addiction, and sexuality.
1:29.8	Her debut memoir, Whipsmart, chronicles her years spent working as a dominatrix in a midtown dudgeon. Her subsequent works, Girlhood, Abandon Me,
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Grace Cohen-Chen, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Grace Cohen-Chen and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.