An Appeel-ate Case Decision

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2011

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Friends (and Canadian barristers) Nick and Phil bring their fruit-based case before the Judge: which gentleman's technique for peeling a banana is correct?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor Fjessi Thorn. This week on the show,
0:07.1	an appellate case decision. Nick is our complainant. He says that his dispute with his friend Phil
0:15.3	revolves around the proper technique for opening a banana. Phil begins at the nub. Nick begins at
0:23.9	the stem like most people. Phil says that his way is easier and more efficient and that peeling
0:31.0	from the nub but peels away those weird vein things that run along the side of the banana. He also
0:36.3	says that monkeys peel from the nub. Nick our complainant says that it's just not the best way
0:44.4	to peel a banana. So who is right? Who is wrong? Who is a man? Who is a beast? Only one man can
0:53.0	decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom. Hey everybody and welcome to
0:59.5	another episode of Fruit Court. The craziest court about fruits and the way is to eat them.
1:07.9	Most courts about fruits are incredibly sober and dull. That would make this one so much more fun.
1:14.0	No tomatoes here. Oh no, they aren't fruits. Those are fruits, yes. First decision.
1:20.2	Jim. Jesse, would you swear these guys in?
1:24.0	Nick, Phil, please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,
1:29.6	and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by
1:37.2	Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that his aversion to Fruit has led him to suffer
1:43.3	from scurvy on multiple occasions. I do. I do. Very well. Judge Hodgman. Make them say God
1:50.9	save the Queen. Okay, now save God save the Queen. God save the Queen. Now say and her fascist regime.
1:58.1	Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesse, come on, a little respect, a little diplomacy. This is our first
2:03.3	international edition of Judge John Hodgman. There are now two courts that hear international
2:09.5	cases of this merit, the Hague, and this podcast. I want to say, first of all, I would not normally
2:16.2	hear this case about banana peeling because it is trivial, and it is also essentially and literally
2:22.4	a matter of taste for which there is usually no accounting, though plenty of judgment. But I am
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jesse Thorn, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Jesse Thorn and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.