Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 667

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host and Wellness Force Media CEO, Josh Trent, shares why some men are not able to appreciate a woman's heart and how vulnerability opens a path to connection.

Today's Question

@Australiangirl850 (Heidi): I think it's easier to open our hearts with somebody new than it is to give a man more chances and feel him continue to disregard us and our needs despite our vulnerability in a relationship. This only works if a man is willing to treat our open heart like a gift and not every man will do that.

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Listen To Episode 667 As Josh Trent Answers Your Questions

[05:15] Intro

If it's your first time joining us, welcome. This is not the best place for you to start if you're looking for in-depth guest episodes. That's on Tuesdays.

But this is Friday, y'all, and on Friday, we reflect. We go deep into either a question that you ask, called an AMA, ask me anything, and I do mean anything, there's nothing off limits, okay?

If you're wondering about why is the sky blue, I'll do my best to answer it. But look, why should you even ask myself and Mar questions, right? Isn't that probably the first thing that we should recognize as either something that pulls us forward or something that pulls us back.

You should ask me questions if you get to ask me a question, if you've been following the podcast for a while, the title of this episode drew you in, or you just innately trust yourself, and you feel like you would love a sounding on something you're working on for your wellness.

We at this Wellness + Wisdom Podcast think of our life through a pentagon. And we think of our life like that because it is the only way in my experience of 20 years now in health and wellness.

I was a trainer for 10 years. I've been podcasting for almost a decade and after almost 700 episodes and learning from world-class people across the planet, I've come to a few really noble truths.

And one of those truths is, I have 5 sides of myself. And those sides of myself start at the floors, the physical, on the walls is our mental and emotional self. And then the ceiling is our financial and spiritual self.

Now, if one of those sides of self is lacking or they're in need of development, they will start to harness energy from one of the other four sides. I truly believe this...

[09:05] How To Cherish A Woman's Heart

The topic today is our heart. And you probably know by the title in that this is about man-woman relating. So look, I'm not here to say that only men and women relate to each other, right? You can love anybody you wanna love. I'm not anti-anything. If you wanna love somebody of the same gender, cool.

What I do take offense to, and actually offense is the wrong word. What I do notice as an insanity that is being on planet Earth right now is that young kids are being coerced by their mothers, their do-good mothers, and their innocence is being completely robbed from them.

And if you wanna go deep into that subject, just check out our podcast with JP Sears, where we went deep into gender dysphoria. All right.

So I want to say that because yes, right now we're talking about man-woman relating, but there's also this concept of gender relating that if you're not careful could come from wounding and trauma.

That is a side podcast but I did want to say that because there may be some people listening that relate to the same gender which is totally beautiful and totally fine if that's how you want to resonate.

This question is from YouTube and we did a video and this video was actually a clip of a podcast that I did with Gervase Colmos and she has a podcast called It's All Me, which I love because it's about radical ownership.
And we had a question from somebody in Australia, which is so cool.

It was actually a comment, but we're taking this comment from YouTube and I'm turning it into a question because I think this would be super enjoyable to flesh out some of these concepts.

So again, If you want to ask your question, we are ready for you. It's JoshTrent.com/AMA. You can leave 90 seconds of your voice and you can even send us a message as well if you want to use your voice. I get that sometimes speaking to a microphone and having your voice heard may be a little intimidating.

So if you'd like to send us a question, just send it to [email protected].

So the title of the video is Women MUST Do THIS Healing ❤️‍🩹 To Get MEN To Respect Your Heart. And this is a really, really great comment because, and I don't know what it's like to live in Australia, but I think human love is universal.

This is @Australiangirl850, Heidi. And she said:

I think it's easier to open our hearts with somebody new than it is to give a man more chances and feel him continue to disregard us and our needs despite our vulnerability in a relationship. This only works if a man is willing to treat our open heart like a gift and not every man will do that.

There is a reason people talk about narcissists and dark triad traits. And I think it's because these types of men can never be moved by the gift of femininity in a woman.

Wow, so much there because look, what I always like to go to is whenever someone's making a statement like a declaration they're asking a question, almost 100% of the time, the answer or the healing is encapsulated in their question in their statement itself.

And Heidi, you said something really interesting at the end, you said, many men can never be moved by the gift of femininity in a woman.

You have to ask yourself, you get to ask yourself this question, what was it that attracted you to this man in the first place? Because on an enteric nervous system level, on an unspoken level, on an etheric level, you were attracted to this man.

You were in, you chose to be in a relationship with this man, right? So part of you already knew that he may have come into the situation or the relationship challenged by feminine energy or by feeling feminine energy in himself.

So while I can agree and I can see some really radical truth in what you're saying, I also believe that this is a point of introspection that's worth exploring because why we attract people is so in reasons.

It could be a trauma bond, it could be that you're calling in someone to shine a light on how you're being that's a projection or a lack of self-love or hatred or resentment or fill-in-the-blank any kind of these lower level emotions. And so, yes, I agree.

It's a challenge for many men to be moved by the gift of femininity in a woman. And I'll flip it to you in a moment, Mar because I really do wanna get a feminine perspective on this. When I was in my 20s, I had a lot of anger towards women. I really didn't understand women.

My mom was bipolar. I projected a lot of my mom's stuff onto women that I was dating in my 20s. I used alcohol, there was pornography in my life. I mean, you name it, like I've been there. So I can speak from life experience on this one.

And there's no way I could ever be moved by the gift of feminine energy because I myself wasn't in touch with mine and I didn't even know what it was.

I had to go through this soul stripping moving to Hawaii, selling everything I owned, finding the ocean, finding surfing, being cooled and cleansed by the feminine energy of the Pacific Ocean. Sometimes a man is just on his journey, he's just not ready to receive true feminine energy.

Because there are times by the way, where even the most embodied man is perplexed and challenged by the complexity of energy. And I say that as a compliment, It's not necessarily a bad thing, right?

It's just feminine energy is much, much different than masculine energy. Masculine energy is about completion. It's finite. It's about boundaries. It's about building a scaffolding and completing a plan, completing a job, and getting a project through.

But yet feminine energy is this beautiful thing because feminine energy allows for the enjoyment of the process. And I think if we're not enjoying something, then why the hell are we doing it anyways? You know, what's the point of doing anything if we're not enjoying it?

So feminine energy is so joyous, it's so wonderful, it's so beautiful, yet a lot of times in a relationship, like I had mentioned before, we attract someone because we're unconsciously wanting to heal our trauma or we're unconsciously wanting to repair that happened in childhood that our conscious mind doesn't know how to do.

So it's all beautiful, it's all working out for us, but you know I want to say this Heidi, because there was a reason that he was attracted to you. There was a reason that you were attracted to him.

And I don't know the situation, but I assume, I'm guessing, intelligently guessing that most likely you got to a point in the relationship where you realized going to blossom. He wasn't going to actually lean into his wounds. He wasn't going to be vulnerable with you.

You said, this only works if a man is willing to treat our open heart like a gift, which is beautiful. I love that. But my question to you is, were you aware of his wounds?