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Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Am I toxic? What If I’m the unhealthy one in the relationship?

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC and Creator of TrueLoveDates.com

Self-improvement, Relationships, Education, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Society & Culture

4.9757 Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2020

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Am I toxic? What if I’m the toxic one in the relationship? Because I think the problem is me. That was the unique question that came into the podcast hotline, and I knew I had to answer it right away. Am I toxic? That’s a question people don’t often ask. It’s not common for someone to identify themselves as the person in need of change in the relationship, and I was so grateful for this man’s insight and willingness to listen to advice and consider next steps for change. Am I toxic? As you listen to this insightful conversation, I want you to ask yourself this: Am I toxic in any way, shape, or form? Or what about this: Could you be the one in the relationship in need of change? It’s so easy to look at what others need to fix and change, without really looking inward at our own problems, past baggage, unhealthy behaviors, and bad habits.  But I want you to ask yourself: could I be the toxic one? Is there anything I need to change in my life? Tune in this brand new episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast and subscribe to the show by clicking on the button below! SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Connect with today’s sponsor: upperroom.org/welcome Love + Relationships Podcast Notes: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Spring: Is Your Relationship Growing? Summer Is When Things Get Hot: On Intimacy Colors of Fall: Questions To Ask Your Partner NOT Assume Winter: The frost of Apathy and How To Deal With It FREE QUIZ: IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY MORE BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, friends, welcome back to the love and relationships podcast. I'm your host, Deborah Felita,

0:23.4

and I'm so glad you're tuning into these candid conversations about love, sex, dating, singleness,

0:29.5

and marriage. For those of you who don't know me or are tuning in for the first time, I'm a licensed

0:34.5

professional counselor and author specializing in relationship issues.

0:39.0

I also run the Relationship Advice blog True Love Dates.com, reaching millions of people with the message

0:44.9

that healthy people make healthy relationships.

0:48.5

If you've tuned into the podcast before, you know it's a hotline style show, meaning people

0:53.5

call in or write in with their

0:55.1

relationship questions, and I answer them on this show in short, practical, bite-sized

1:00.1

answers. If you have a question that you want me to answer on the show, send it via email

1:05.3

or voice memo to Deborah at true lovedates.com or check out my podcast page, true lovedates.com slash love and relationships.

1:13.8

And I'll do my best to get it answered on one of the episodes.

1:16.8

So let's get started.

1:23.3

Today on the podcast, we have joining us, Young from New York. Hey, Young. Hi. How are you?

1:31.9

I'm doing okay. Thankfully, the quarantine situation in New York has improved significantly.

1:37.4

So things are starting to open up. I am glad to hear it. Well, let's dive in. Tell me a little bit about what you've got on your mind today.

1:46.5

I guess my question that I have for you today is like, is there any hope for change for people who realize, you know, that they have their own problematic and toxic behavior that later on after the relationship has ended, they realized, you know.

2:00.5

Look at some of my own relationships. In the past, I realized that as much as I

2:04.8

wanted to blame the other person and say, like, oh, it was their fault, you know,

2:09.5

it really wasn't my fault.

2:11.4

I also realized that I play a big role in contributing to that relationship falling apart,

2:15.9

you know.

...

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