Am I the jerk for telling my daughter-in-law to stop crying after she got called fat?

My daughter-in-law is a very sensitive soul, to put it lightly.

She will end up in tears at basically any pushback or any slightly rude remark.

It can be extremely frustrating because anything brought up will end up with her in tears

and you looking like a huge jerk.

One example, she has a habit of not taking off her shoes before going to people's homes.

I hate that by the way.

About a year ago, she was tracking mud into my house and I told her to take off her shoes.

She started crying because my tone was too much.

Ugh, okay.

I didn't yell or anything.

My daughter was there and agreed, I wasn't mean when I said to take off her shoes.

It was a whole thing.

And my son gave me a whole lecture about how I can't say things like that.

I told her to take off her shoes.

I am already so on your side, O.P.

She isn't a quiet cry either.

It's loud and everyone notices the moment it happens. Then everyone needs to comfort her and you're in the wrong for making her cry. There are more

examples of this and the whole family has had to deal with it. Now a new issue came up this weekend

at a get-together for my other daughter-in-law's daughter's birthday. The birthday was going well and there

are a lot of young kids there. One of the kids, he is four, almost five, can be rude. His parents are

working on it. He doesn't have a filter. During the event when she was helping pass out the food,

...