"Am I The A**hole?" Dan Savage on Giving Advice, Taking Criticism and Keeping Up With The Times

The Unspeakeasy With Meghan Daum

Meghan Daum

Society & Culture

4.7 • 855 Ratings

🗓️ 9 August 2021

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, Meghan talks with legendary sex and relationship columnist Dan Savage. Recounting thirty years of correspondence from people seeking advice, Dan reflects on how anxieties and concerns have changed over the decades. Whereas he once got mostly practical questions about sex, he now hears from people who describe a relationship dynamic and ask some version of "am I the asshole?" Dan also talks about how he's become gentler over the years in doling out advice, the legacy of his famous "It Gets Better" campaign, and his discomfort with Meghan's "favorite" issue, the surge in transgender identity declarations among young people. (That's not really her favorite issue.) Meghan also announced some new developments with the podcast, including the first ever Unspeakable Zoom hangout for listeners on August 19. To learn more and to register, click HERE [link] Guest Bio: Dan Savage is an author, media pundit, journalist, and LGBT activist. He writes Savage Love, an internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column, and hosts the popular Savage Lovecast. He is the author of several books including The Kid, It Gets Better, The Commitment, Skipping Toward Gomorrah, American Savage, and Savage Love. In 2010, Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, began the It Gets Better Project to help prevent suicide among LGBT youth.

Transcript

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0:00.9	You're listening to the Unspeakable podcast with Megan Dowm.
0:04.8	Now on Podcast One.
0:07.9	Hi, I'm Frank.
0:09.4	I don't like change.
0:10.6	And I just saw a billboard for this new BJ's wholesale club talking about how you could pay as little as two cents a gallon for gas.
0:17.2	Look, when gas prices are this low, we can't complain about gas prices being too high.
0:22.2	No, sir. I wouldn't join BJ's Wholesale Club.
0:25.2	Hey, thanks, Frank. But if you do want to sign up now for ridiculously low gas prices,
0:29.8	join the new BJ's Wholesale Club, opening soon in Ross Township. Visit BJs.com slash Ross Township,
0:35.4	or the BJ's membership center at the Block Northway.
0:38.1	Are you in excruciating pain brought on by your son,
0:41.1	daughter, or spouse, suffering from addiction?
0:43.4	You are not alone.
0:44.9	If you call Recovery Centers of America today at 1-888-Recovery,
0:49.1	your whole family can begin to recover.
0:51.4	At Recovery Centers of America at Monroeville,
0:53.7	your loved one will be treated with care by expert addiction professionals, while family
0:57.8	programming will give you support and healing so that you can recover as well.
1:01.9	RCA accepts insurance, provides transportation, and offers intervention services.
1:06.6	Call 1-888-Recovery Now.
1:12.2	There's a letter I remember from a few years ago, probably 10 years ago, where this woman was just enraged to find out that her husband was sneaking off to go to a family wedding because his family didn't want her to come lest she disrupt the wedding and make a scene.
1:30.6	And then she goes on to describe all the ways in which she disrupted the wedding and made a scene,
	...

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