meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Flying Free

Am I Responsible for Fixing My Husband? [167]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Spiritual, Narcissism, Self-improvement, Marriage, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Christian, Divorce, Christianity, Education

5.0 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 April 2022

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you break abuse down to the nitty-gritty, at its heart is something called “emotional childhood.” Abusers think everybody should make their life work. Everyone should cater to their whims. Everybody is responsible for their emotions. For fixing them, moment by moment. They shouldn’t have to do anything. Like a stunted emotional child. If you’re a wife in this situation, you come to believe that you are supposed to fix your husband. You think you’re the only one who can (and that “fixing” him is even possible). Any movement to protect yourself, to detach, to assign responsibility to him for HIS OWN LIFE and CHOICES, feels like betrayal and selfishness and just plain gross. Your husband and many religious people would agree. Which leads us right back to: Am I responsible for fixing my husband? Is detaching from him to protect myself wrong? I’ve been asked these questions hundreds—if not thousands—of times, so I’ve fleshed out an answer that addresses them AND all those icky rabbit trails in your mind. And unlike what you’ve been told in church, online, or by your husband, this answer doesn’t require you to throw yourself in a pool to save a person who wants to drown…and drag you under too. Get clear explanations like: - What detachment really is (and why it’s so good and necessary) - 2 helpful lists highlighting how children think/express themselves (so helpful if you know you’re not living from your values but you’re not sure why) - Signs you’re living in emotional childhood - The difference between emotional adulthood and emotional childhood - Why getting out of abuse doesn’t stop the thought/behavior patterns you’ve learned in destructive relationships (women can get free and still live chained lives if they don’t realize this) - How to make decisions from peace and wisdom instead of denial and fear (doing this will lead to a level of satisfaction and success you’ve only dreamed of!) - And more! Listen or download the transcript at flyingfreenow.com/167 FREE: I'll send you the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Just hop on my mailing list at flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download. (I will NEVER spam you or sell your information.) Desperate for real help and safe people who understand what you're going through? Find out about my online education and support program for women of faith at joinflyingfree.com And, if you are an already divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, have amazing relationships, build a business or career, or even find a good man - check out joinflyinghigher.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now, and you're listening to the Flying Free

0:10.2

podcast, a support resource for women of faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden

0:16.6

emotional and spiritual abuse.

0:21.6

Welcome to 167 hundred and sixty seven of the Flying Free Podcast. Today I'm going to

0:27.6

bring to you a couple of questions that I got in the Flying Free

0:32.2

Sisterhood Program a couple of years ago actually.

0:35.4

I just went back through my archives.

0:37.6

One of the things that we have in the Sisterhood is we do a monthly Q&A and we've been doing this for several years so we have this huge

0:46.0

vault of past Q&A sessions and I went through some of them and I was like,

0:52.6

wow, these are some really good questions.

0:54.1

And they're questions I hear over and over again.

0:56.0

But I just thought, maybe I'll answer a couple of these

0:59.7

in one of the podcast episodes.

1:01.4

So here's two I found.

1:03.5

There's two questions I'm going to read to you right now.

1:05.9

And they're both very similar.

1:07.4

So I'll read the questions,

1:10.0

and then we'll dig into some ideas of ways to think about this, all right?

1:14.4

The first one is, I can't seem to be able to stop feeling responsible for him.

1:20.1

I've always felt a deep responsibility to fix or rescue everything broken in the world,

1:25.6

especially my loved ones. I know deep inside that it is truly God's responsibility,

1:31.5

but I can't seem to shake it off, no matter how much I try.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Natalie Hoffman, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Natalie Hoffman and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.