Welcome to Back from the Abyss. I'm Dr. Craig Hecock.

You all know that I'm deeply interested in how therapists and psychiatrists do their work

and show up for their clients and

patients as they carry their own pain and traumas.

I had never met Leah Barrett, a psychotherapist here in Fort Collins, before this recording,

but within just a few minutes, I was blown away by her openness and warmth, her insight, her courage.

This is one of only two episodes that we've released in which I didn't edit out a single

minute. And I think you'll understand why as you listen to Leah's story.

I was first diagnosed with cancer in late December of 2013, and it was advanced ovarian cancer.

So it required a eight-hour-plus surgery with months of chemotherapy to follow. And that was my first diagnosis and the

diagnosis that just, you know, I was so naive personally to all of it. And my identity around work

has always been a big player in my life. So I did not know what to do. I didn't know

if I could work. I didn't know if I said quit. I didn't know if I was going to make it through

treatment. I didn't know if I was going to die. I mean, early on in an advanced cancer diagnosis,

not a whole lot of promises are made, right? So it really threw me

professionally. And I felt like I needed to be able to say something to the people I work with

about, am I going to die on them or not? And so what ended up happening is I took a bunch of time off.

I felt like I needed to know first

what was going to happen. Did you tell people? I did. I'm going on medical leave. Totally right

away. And I got a lot of supervision. Did you say for cancer? I did. I was super transparent.

You know, I decided why change who I am with my clients now? Because I've always been a bit of

a maverick as a therapist. I've always sort of walked close to the edge of too much disclosure,

...