4.8 • 12.9K Ratings
🗓️ 8 February 2021
⏱️ 153 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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0:00.0 | So I was in total denial that I was sick because I didn't understand that your brain can |
0:09.4 | get injured just like your knee. |
0:11.0 | I just didn't understand that. |
0:13.0 | And so I was of the mindset as I had always been in my life that I needed to keep pressing |
0:19.4 | forward and fix all on my own whatever it was that I was feeling. |
0:24.4 | And then I started to have these even darker thoughts. |
0:27.5 | And that's when I felt like I understood my mom in a way that I never wanted to understand |
0:33.3 | her. |
0:34.3 | Like I, it's, you have these thoughts that like you want to die. |
0:38.6 | And it was terrifying because I've always, I've always been afraid my whole life for |
0:43.7 | the moment that that might happen to me. |
0:45.8 | And where that fear came from was I have a photo book of her when she was like teenager. |
0:52.8 | And she looked really happy. |
0:54.1 | And I was like, there's no way I just don't believe that this 16 year old knows what's |
0:58.9 | going to happen to her. |
1:00.4 | And that was so scary because I was like, is it going to, am I a ticking time bomb? |
1:03.9 | Does it just happen to people? |
1:06.0 | Her brother took his own like, it runs deep in her family. |
1:08.8 | So I just knew that there was a possibility. |
1:11.5 | And then when it did, I thought that that was just my fate that like that was, it now happened |
1:17.5 | to me. |
1:18.5 | And because the narrative I was told about her was she just had to go. |
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