Brian Lair on WNYC. Now we're going to reprise just for one segment, a series we did

during the summer that a lot of people really liked. We partnered with Janay Desmond Harris,

also known as the Advice columnist, Dear Prudence, on Slate. Like we did in the summer, we

invited you to write your question, seeking advice, to the Dear Prudence inbox at Slate. And we've

picked one to read and discuss right now that we think might inform a choice that many of you will

have to make, or to help someone you care about make at some point. It's about the guest list

for a wedding. We'll read the whole thing in a second, the whole letter. But before we do, I want

to know that as we did in the summer, we will crowdsource this advice, which means we will open

the phones for you to answer the question and see if you can be even more helpful than Janay or me.

First, let's welcome, May back to the show, Janay Desmond Harris, aka Dear Prudence from Slate.

She was previously a senior staff opinion section editor at the New York Times, has written for

other news organizations, including Vox and the Root, and has a law degree from Harvard, so don't

argue with her because you'll probably lose. Janay, great to have you again. Welcome back to WNYC.

Thank you for that intro. I'm so happy to be back with you and your listeners. This was

really fun last time. And let's get right to this letter, which our producer Mary Krug has recorded

the text of for us all to here. My niece recently has become engaged. They decided kids would not

be invited to the wedding because the venue at NNYC is too expensive and has a capacity of 180.

They mentioned on the Save the Date notice to check the website for details, but people for the

most part didn't look. When people finally read the fine print, several were very surprised and

hurt and felt disrespected. They even went so far as to wonder if their kids were even liked by the

engaged couple. How could they have handled this situation differently as to not offend their wedding

guests? Karen in Connecticut wrote that letter, Brian Lerschel, listener who wrote to the Dear

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