Being that I'm always right, one of my great talents is offering advice.

The problem is that people don't ask me for advice.

So that leads me to offer the advice unsolicited.

And they call this man's planning, I think,

that's what that's called.

So today, instead of deciding that I'd like to do a little advice segment,

I'm going to pill for questions from another advice column,

and I'll give you the real advice, the correct answers to those questions.

And for those purposes today, we're going to refer to slate.

Now, slate has what it looks like are a couple of different advice columns

that are up on their website.

They have all kinds of poor saps that come to them asking for help.

And I thought this was especially important because

the advice they get is terrible.

The advice that's dispensed is often even more misguided than the original question,

so that everybody at the end of it is just even more confused.

So today, we're going to go through, take some of these questions,

and then give the real answers to those questions.

All right, now, from slate.

Let's start here.

Here's a question sent in by someone who identifies himself as confused cuck.

That's his name. He's given himself.

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