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Adult Child

Addicted to Chaos: Boundaries, Triggers & Rebuilding Self-Trust w/ Amy Fiedler

Adult Child

Andrea Ashley

Relationships, Health & Fitness, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.91.8K Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2025

⏱️ 88 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You didn’t choose chaos; your nervous system learned to crave it. Learn to read your body, set real boundaries, and stop mistaking calm for danger.

Amy Fiedler is a trauma specialist and coach known for practical, nervous-system-informed boundary work. She grew up around alcoholism and chronic shaming—an environment of denial, gaslighting, and volatility that wired her to over-tolerate. After years of toxic, abusive relationships, she chose herself, did the work, and now helps others do the same by rebuilding self-trust with values-based boundaries.

✨ What this episode explores:

▪️The 3–3–3 Boundary Method — How stating a limit up to three times with matched follow-through reveals remorse, accountability, and change—or signals it’s time to reduce access.

▪️From Triangulation to Truth — How to end go-between roles, speak directly, and set limits so sibling and parent dynamics stop running your life.

▪️Triggers as Data, Not Danger — How asking “history or violation?” in the moment turns reactivity into principled action.

▪️Safety Before Strategy — How regulating before you speak lets you set boundaries from values instead of panic.

▪️From Being Chosen to Choosing Yourself — What changes when you map the behaviors you value, decline what you don’t, and align consequences so self-respect outranks scarcity.

▪️Healing in Healthy Love — How co-regulation and repair with safe partners build capacity, even when old triggers surface.

Amy's IG - @amythelifecoach

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SPONSORS

Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchild

Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD

Check out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.

Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/

Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchild



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.com
* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/adultchild


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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protein, which helps restore gut lining

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integrity, promoting overall hormonal medicine. It helps to relieve occasional bloating and gas,

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reduce sugar cravings, it helps you feel satisfied longer, boost your energy. It helps to

0:32.7

relieve occasional gas and bloating, reduce sugar cravings, keeps you feeling satisfied longer,

0:38.3

boost your energy, and helps you stabilize those damn mood swings. And because your gut directly

0:44.6

affects your hormones, improving gut health can amplify your hormone harmony results so you can

0:50.8

feel like yourself again. And so I struggle with brain fog.

0:54.8

I'm sure many of y'all can relate.

0:57.0

And since I've been taking the pre-botic collagen protein,

1:00.2

I've noticed a big difference there as well as just a lift in my overall energy levels.

1:04.8

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1:18.0

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1:31.1

How's the business going? We're busy than ever, but struggling to get the staff we need.

1:35.1

Recruiting can be such a distraction. We gave Job Center Plus a try, and they've really helped us out.

1:40.2

Really? Yeah. It was dead easy. We got our own employer advisor, Julie, who helped advertise our jobs, shortlisted candidates for us and letters interview at the Job Centre. We've hired some great people, and Job Centre Plus really took the hassle out of it, and there was no fee. Brilliant. That's straight on my to-do list. Find out more at business.gov.uk. U.K. slash recruit. Eligibility criteria apply.

...

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