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When I was a freshman in college at Vassar shout out, I needed an off-campus job.

And so I got one just off-campus. It was the street next door. It was a deli.

They had pizza there and I started delivering pizzas and working the register. And the guy who owned it was a man

named, I'm going to give a fake name because frankly, I'm a little scared of him. I will call him Bill.

Bill owned the place with another man named, let's call him Steve.

You're so clever with these names.

No, well, their real names were also very basic, very run-of-the-mill.

So I wanted to give them equally run-of-the-mill pseudonyms. That's funny.

So Bill, who owned the place, had a huge head and he claimed to have been in a crime family.

One day his partner, Steve, did not show up and I said, where is Steve?

And he said, I caught him skimming. And I said, so where is he? He said, well, I gave him an offer.

I said, you can keep the money and lose your legs.

You can give the money back and I never see you again and keep your legs.

And then there's a long pause and he said, he decided to keep his legs.

Who knows what really happened, but that's the story.

He said, and Steve never came back.

Bill would sell alcohol to kids who were clearly kids, like 10, 11 years old.

And the cops would drive by and he would wave at him, I officer.

And the cops would wave back, you know, he was clearly paying everyone.

And you were deep in. You were like Donnie Brasco.

I was. Yeah, I know.

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