ADAM LANE SMITH | Are You Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure?

Order of Man

Ryan Michler

Business, Health, Leadership, Relationships, Man, Society & Culture, Intellect, Style, Lifestyle, Money, Selfdevelopment, Wealth, Fitness, Selfhelp, Nutrition

4.8 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 2 January 2024

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past 18 months looking into the various attachment styles of men – anxious, avoidant, and secure. I think we all intuitively know that “secure” is the best place to be, but the question is, “How do we get there?” It’s especially difficult considering our engrained attachment style drives so much of our decision-making process – much of which is subconscious.

My guest today is licensed psychotherapist and attachment specialist, Adam Lane Smith. Today, Adam and I discuss building secure, sustainable relationships, why responsibility breeds security and why we subconsciously avoid it, how the chemicals, Oxytocin and Vasopressin, drive our emotional and problem-solving connections, and why every man needs to work on building his “male solution network.”

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

Building secure and sustainable relationships
Why responsibility breeds security, and why we subconsciously avoid it
How the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin drive our emotional and problem solving connections
Why ever man needs to work on building his male solution network
The different attachment styles seen in men
Modern day dating
The 5 clusters that are relied on to create healthy and secure attachment
Modern femininity versus masculinity
Building emotional intimacy

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I've spent a lot of time over the past 18 months looking into the various attachment styles
0:05.4	of men, anxious, avoidant, and secure.
0:08.6	Now I think we all know intuitively that secure is the best place to be, but the question
0:14.5	is, how do we get there?
0:16.4	It's especially difficult considering our ingrained attachment style drives so much of our decision-making
0:22.1	process, much of which is subconscious.
0:25.0	Today, I'm joined by a licensed psychotherapist and attachment specialist, Adam Lane-Smith.
0:31.0	We talk about building secure, sustainable relationships, why responsibility, breed security,
0:37.4	and why we subconsciously avoid it, how the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin drive
0:42.4	are emotional and problem-solving connections, and why every man needs to work on building
0:47.2	his male solution network.
0:49.2	You're a man of action.
0:51.2	You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly charge your own path.
0:55.6	When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
0:59.6	You are not easily deterred and defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
1:05.1	This is your life, this is who you are, this is who you will become.
1:09.1	At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
1:14.5	Gentlemen, what is going on today?
1:16.0	My name is Ryan Mickler, I'm your host and the founder of the Order of Men Podcast
1:19.6	and Movement.
1:20.6	Welcome here today.
1:22.0	This is the very first podcast of 2024.
	...

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