Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 650

How does every moment provide you with an option to either choose fear or to choose love?

Adam Lane Smith + Andrey Korikov join Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 650, to discuss why pain is the strongest motivational force, how guilt comes from fear, what happens when you don't know who you truly are, and why pity is detrimental to men.

"We have to have pain, it's fundamental. We form this idea that pain is bad. It's scary and it hurts, but we believe that all pain is going to kill us and that's wrong. Pain can make you grow." - Adam Lane Smith

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In This Episode, Adam Lane Smith + Andrey Korikov Uncover:

[01:30] I Wish You Knew

• Adam Lane Smith
• Andrey Korikov
• I Wish You Knew Podcast
• 610 Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)
• Why people don't know how to formulate their identity anymore.
• We need to curate knowledge to find ourselves.
• Why individuals identify with the relationships they're in.
• 587 Chris Kresser | Changing The Game of Bioavailable Nutrients Forever
• The environment pulls the trigger on our habits and addictions.

[06:30] Choosing a Different Path

• The spiritual layer of emotional epigenetics.
• What made Josh choose a different path for himself.
• How Josh consciously chooses curiosity over fear.
• Why fear isn't real.

[10:45] Internal Sense of Truth

• We try to build ourselves around our internal sense of truth.
• How religion helps Andrey explore his authenticity.
• Why we fear making the wrong decision for ourselves.
• Truth is subjective.

[14:35] Lessons from Divorce

• How Andrey handled his divorce.
• Why he was scared because he lost his identity in the relationship.
• How the divorce became an opportunity to reinvent himself.

[18:20] Pity Is Deadly to Men

• How Adam and Andrey met on a podcast.
• Pity is deadly to men because it's teaching them they're weak.
• Why many therapists drive men away from going to therapy.
• How Andrey struggled with attachment.

[24:30] Know Thyself

• Why Adam saw that Andrey didn't know himself.
• We're always getting closer to understanding ourselves and the truth.
• Why Andrey couldn't sacrifice truth anymore.
• How Adam supported Andrey on his journey and vice versa.

[27:00] What's Stopping You From Change?

• Why we can never fully understand God.
• Change is a simple equation.
• If we're too comfortable or too scared, we will not change.
• How you're preventing change from happening.
• The Map of Consciousness Explained by David Hawkins

[30:00] Why You Vibe with Some People

• The reason why we vibe with some people and with others we don't.
• How meeting his girlfriend was a spiritual experience for Andrey.
• The body and the soul are two separate pieces in the Eastern teachings.
• How every bloodline ties back to the beginning of humanity.

[35:50] You Have the Capacity to Transform Your Life

• We are a living library of all humanity.
• Why we're in an attachment crisis.
• How we're currently in the process of correcting existential problems.
• We finally have the capacity to have free time and not fight for survival.
• How we can apply knowledge at scale.

[41:20] Is Pain The Strongest Motivational Force?

• What it means that we can create our reality.
• Why Josh started believing that he's going to get the dream that he thought was possible.
• The reason why pain is an important part of our lives.
• Humans can't process all the facts we receive.
• We can choose the facts we build our reality around.

[48:05] The World Changed 100 Years Ago

• We're living in a broken world.
• Why we're finally ready to change how we live.
• 503 Paul Levy | Wetiko: Break Free From Collective Mass Psychosis
• What is it that shifted at the beginning of the 20th century?
• How we're adapting to an extreme environment.
• Why we're living in a collapse.

[53:40] The War on Family

• The influence of Hollywood on our lives.
• 624 Teal Swan | Ancestral Healing: Multidimensional Genetics, Conscious Parenting + The Impossible Task of Single Mothers
• The family system is under attack right now.
• Jordan Peterson

[57:50] Pity VS Reverence

• We either satisfy our hunger for love or for fear.
• Why most people are driven by fear.
• Approaching men with reverence instead of pity empowers them.
• One word can change someone's life.
• 481 Scott Jackson | Rewire Yourself: How To Create A Life You Love With Freedom From Subconscious Sabotage

[01:02:15] Choose Love Over Fear

• Why guilt can be fear in disguise.
• How we're conditioned by other people to feel guilt so that they can control us.
• We either live in fear or in love.
• How we project onto other people what we've internalized.
• Parents teach children how to react.

[01:09:30] Reparent Yourself

• Why we have to learn to parent ourselves.
• Cut out all the bad things that you're consuming.
• The importance of learning how to co-regulate in relationships.
• Mentorship can provide space for reparenting.

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Power Quotes From The Show

Hunger for Love VS Fear

"Internally, we have a hunger that cannot be satisfied by food, water, or air. It is a hunger for something that we get from this world. Can either be one of two things. It's either hunger for love or it's hunger for fear." - Andrey Korikov

Define Your Reality

"In any given situation, there are 100 facts. Humans are able to handle about 20 of those. We can't really understand the full 100 range of facts. That's what defining your own reality is, is which 20 facts will I choose to hold on to and prioritize and adapt to out of the hundred in any given circumstance? So then we define ourself by that." - Adam Lane Smith

What Pity Does to a Man

"When you pity a man, you're saying something so terrible is happening to you that I am scared for you, and you should be scared for yourself. So he has to find more power, aggression, and dominance to combat.

When you give reverence, you say, you are being challenged and I respect you for it, you're projecting love. And you're saying, I am giving my attention, my soul, my energy to you so you can fight this for the good purpose, you're empowering them. Rather than scaring them as you would scare a little kid, you're encouraging them through that reverence." - Andrey Korikov

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Links From Today's Show 

• Adam Lane Smith
• Andrey Korikov
• I Wish You Knew Podcast
• 610 Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)
• 587 Chris Kresser | Changing The Game of Bioavailable Nutrients Forever
• The Map of Consciousness Explained by David Hawkins
• 503 Paul Levy | Wetiko: Break Free From Collective Mass Psychosis
• 624 Teal Swan | Ancestral Healing: Multidimensional Genetics, Conscious Parenting + The Impossible Task of Single Mothers
• Jordan Peterson
• 481 Scott Jackson | Rewire Yourself: How To Create A Life You Love With Freedom From Subconscious Sabotage