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Adam Carolla Show

ACS: Lisa Lampanelli

Adam Carolla Show

PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

Comedy

4.536.9K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2010

⏱️ 96 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Adam opens by discussing his recent conversation with documentarian Ken Burns. Adam says that race came up, and that he thought Ken said something disturbing. Essentially the question was whether or not you'd be willing to switch places with Chris Rock... to which Adam says absolutely, in the drop of a hat. They also talk about which celebrities the valet guy thought were assholes, and Adam asks Teresa a very sensitive question about his daughter's bathroom habits.



Jumping into the news, the first story revolves around the Bachelorette finale. They talk about contestant Chris overplaying the 'mom dying card,' but Adam jokes about wishing he could have killed his mom when he was single so he could get laid. They also listen to a breakup clip from the show, which Teresa said she did not see coming. The second part of the news is too depressing, so T asks Adam to chose between the two stories. The one he picks involves six kids drowning while trying to save their friend, and this sends Adam off on a huge rant about parents focusing on unimportant things like tap water and third-hand smoke, instead of more practical things like keeping the pool gate closed.



Queen of Mean Lisa Lampanelli enters the studio and wastes no time joking about her fiances big balls. She talks about her upcoming wedding this fall, and how the florist is overcharging her. She offers her thoughts on The Bachelorette finale, and everyone gets to talking about all kids of trash TV; including The View and Real Housewives of New Jersey. They also talk about wedding dress shopping at Big and Tall stores, and plus size models with small faces.



Adam takes a few listener calls to give relationship advice. One caller is concerned with his girlfriend's family who speaks french in front of him, and another is wondering if he should break up with his girlfriend before going off to college. Adam says to both of them not to fight fate, and just understand that you're young and will likely meet many women before you get married. He also spends some time talking about his own break from his wife before they got married, and the benefits of being single and playing the field before settling down.



Teresa reminds Adam and Lisa to talk about the recent Comedy Central roast of David Hasselhoff, which Lisa was a part of. Lisa says that she didn't know what to say about roastermaster Seth MacFarlane, but she did have plenty of material on the man of the hour. Adam also chimes in with his own stories of The Hoff, and asks Lisa about how badly she had to pee during the recording. Lisa says that it was the easiest roast she's ever had to do because she got to open instead of close. Adam and Lisa delve farther into their own experiences of previous roasts, and talk about the importance of prepping your material instead of improvising. Lisa says the jokes were so great this year, they didn't even hurt her feelings; unlike past participant Pam Anderson, who almost cried.



Check out insultcomic.com for Lisa's upcoming dates, and watch her on Comedy Central's roast of David Hasselhoff, airing Sunday, August 15th.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

picture this you've left your office and you're home for the night suddenly you're in a pinch

0:06.8

because the file you need is back on your computer desktop at work what do you do this is

0:13.0

adam corolla telling you use go to my pc to retrieve that file go to my pc brought to you by

0:19.6

citrix lets you instantly access your computer,

0:23.4

giving you flexibility to choose where and when and how you work, providing personal liberation.

0:30.9

Try Go to MyPC free for 45 days. Visit GoToMyPc.com, click the tried free button, and use the

0:39.4

promo code, Adam.

0:46.6

You're listening to the Ace

0:51.0

Broadcasting Network.

1:02.0

From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California,

1:05.0

and available on your mobile device through Stitcher Radio,

1:07.4

this is the Adam Carolla show.

1:11.2

Adam's guest today, the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampinelli.

1:16.1

Plus, two other people who love black men, Teresa, and Bald Brian.

1:18.5

We'll also take your relationship calls.

1:23.8

And now, a man who wiki leaks in the sink, Adam Carolla.

1:25.8

Yeah, I get it.

1:27.1

Timely. Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on no choice but to get it on mandate

1:31.1

get it on good day bald brian this is damn exciting stuff good good day teresa strasser

1:38.7

good day adam carola excited to see lisa lampanelli can't wait we've not seen her since she's been

1:44.0

married love love love that Yeah, she is married by a guy who's like basically a stand-in for everyone on the Sopranos. Like if his name is not, it's Big Lou or something like that, right? He's got out some sort of nickname? Like a mobster type guy? I think he's like Big Lou.

2:01.5

Yeah.

...

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