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You're listening to the Ace Broadcasting Network.

From Carolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla show.

Adam's guest today, Greg Fitzsimmons, plus Allison Rosen on news, bald Brian on sound effects, and a round of no-year lackeys.

And now, ripped for his pleasure, Adam Carolla.

Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on mandate. Get it on. Good day,

Brian. I love me some meat. Good day, Allison Rosen. Hello, Adam. Did your mother drive you? Mm-hmm. Well, Gary referred to her as news mom because she was out there on her iPad. Working the news. Yeah. Working the story. Working the feet. I saw the fedora. Oh, yeah. I know. With the press. Yeah. She has one of those old-fashioned cameras, too, with a giant poof.

The cigar was a little much. Yeah. I thought so, too. Now, she's driving you? Yes. And I feel like, why ever not have this happen? Yeah. I don't miss my independence. I am. You're on the Vicodin right now I am. You don't feel like you can drive on the Vicodon? Well, I'm down in Orange County because that's where the hospital was and the people who are taking care of me. So it's a long drive. But I did do some practice driving today, and I'm fine. Don't tell my mom. You mean news, mom? Don't tell news, mom. Scoop, your daughter's lazy. I will say as someone who was driven around myself for six months or eight months or almost a year, maybe. I forgot what it was. Oh, good. The bar is real high. It's a slippery slope, man. You start to really like enjoy being driven. Now, when did you start washing yourself in the shower? That is the one of the few things I always did. But you know what I couldn't do was dry myself off. My left arm was so weak I couldn't physically reach all the way around myself. I was joking, you pussy. No, I could wash myself, but I couldn't be dried. Drip dry. That's exactly right. Hang yourself on a clothesline. That's why I, I, I always drive, bike it in or not.

You're a good driver, though.

It's not a great message to send to the kids, but, uh, I've circle the globe buzzed or

altered or whatever, but, you know, I'm, uh, I'm better altered.

Like, like, here's the thing.

Yeah, it's a message. No, here's what I'm saying.. Like, here's the thing. No, it's a message.

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