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Adam Carolla Show

ACS: Almost Live Podcast

Adam Carolla Show

PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

Comedy

4.536.9K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2010

⏱️ 89 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Adam opens with the show with a rant against airlines and airport security. Traveling around to do live shows, Adam was plagued with misplaced luggage, occupied storage space, and not being able to break in the terminal when he wanted to. Adam wants to know what's with all the 'unprovoked cuntiness' from the people who work the airlines, and Teresa surmises that 'people who are attracted to those jobs aren't that nice to begin with.' Jumping into the first news story, a woman in her 20s went to court wearing an inappropriate shirt and was held in contempt of court. Adam points out that you can do what you want in the privacy of your own home, but 'you affect other people by what you wear [in public].' Adam says he wants a dress code for an airline, just as they do at restaurants and clubs. This reminds him of a story where Donny got busted wearing jeans to the Magic Castle. Other news stories include revelations about the hormonal impact beautiful women have around men, and also how Adam's joke movie idea of 'Pedif Isle' could become a reality. Douglas Hughes is running for CA governor, and has suggested we move all convicted sex offenders to an island off the coast. Adam says, 'we should spread this out to other offenders, like Car Jackers Island.' All the pedophile talk reminds Teresa of the time she was almost molested as a child. Comedian Kyle Kinane steps in, here to promote his new CD, 'Death of the Party,' and also to announce his first headlining weekend in Georgia this weekend. The whole group agrees that comedy clubs need to come up with names that are not embarrassing for the comedian to say. 'At least treat what we do with respect.' Teresa jumps right back into the news to talk about Jesse James, and everyone discusses the validity of sex addiction. Tila Tequila has signed up for Celebrity Rehab, and Adam says he strongly dislikes the hair streaks and tattoos she has. He says, '[Tila] falls into the new breed of woman that adorns the pages of these Japanese tuner car magazines. I don't know what the race is, but it's a sort of Eurasian thing.' Kyle jumps in-- 'It's like a slutty clown, you really couldn't look more unnatural and unreal.' They all agree that the look doesn't feel sexual, it feels aggressive. The final news stories deal with the passing of Brittany Murphy's husband, and also a hit-and-run accident at USC. After Adam's daughter Natalia makes a guest appearance, the group talks about how Simon Cowell was rated the most powerful person in reality TV. Adam doesn't get why what he does is so special, as anybody can do his job. He says to Teresa, 'Nobody judges like me. I'm judging the way you just said 'you never stop judging.'' Finally they all cringe that Paula Abdul is returning to the air as another Reality TV judge. Kyle Kinane's CD can be purchased at Amazon or iTunes, and he can be reached at: Kylekinane.com Twitter.com/kylekinane Or search for his name on Facebook. Tour dates include: May 28-30 @ Funny Farm, in Roswell Georgia. June 1 @ Hollywood Improv, June 6 @ Comedy Store in Hollywood Teresa's site: Exploitingmybaby.com And Friday's Parent Experiment podcast will feature Adam Carolla! Bald Bryan asks you to check out his podcast, The Film Vault. This week: Top 5 Sex Scenes Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, kitties, before we start the podcast, quick heads up, heading back to the El Portale Theater.

0:04.8

That's right, or as you call it, El Portal, in North Hollywood, or as you call it, no-ho.

0:11.5

Either way, like MacArthur, returning to the Philippines, once again, back in my home city of North Hollywood.

0:18.0

That is Saturday, June 12th.

0:20.2

It'll be me.

0:21.1

It'll be the Wees.

0:22.1

We'll have special guests.

0:23.6

We'll have the slideshow and the computer.

0:26.0

We'll do what can Adam complain about?

0:28.2

It's a party.

0:29.4

So go to Adamcurola.com for ticket information.

0:32.4

Saturday night, June 12th, and I'll see you there.

0:47.1

Music June 12, and I'll see you there. From a warehouse in Glendale to your iPod, it's the Adam Carolla podcast.

0:52.3

Today, Adam welcomes number five on the top ten emerging comedians list, Kyle Canane.

0:58.3

Teresa Strasser has the news, and Bald Brian has no hair.

1:02.6

And now, the best thing you'll hear for free all day long, Adam Carolla.

1:08.0

Yeah, get it on.

1:09.4

Got to get it on.

1:10.2

No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on. Welcome, Teresa and Paul Bryan. So nice to be here, and it's so nice to hear Dawson. Yeah, it felt good. Who's Dawson? He's one of the mics. It's like comfort food. It is. It's not good for you. It's not even good food.

1:28.9

It's just, but you know it.

1:30.4

You know, you're raised on it.

1:28.1

He's about Cheetos. He's one of those Jack in the Box tacos. Greasy, heart stopping. You like it especially when you're high. Doesn't even resemble a taco. You like it more with your high. By the way, the funny thing is, I don't know if you saw that there's a dog in your green room.

...

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