Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.co.

That's audible.com.ukesl-wondery. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on.

No choice but to get it on, mandate.

Get it on.

Thanks for coming out tonight.

I made the pilgrimage out here from Long Beach

where I was getting my ass kicked

by lesser known celebrities in the Long Beach Grand Prix

but do not worry we're all meeting in the lobby

at 8 a.m. to go racing and I will be there bright-eyed and bushy-tailed

and hung the fuck over.

I squeezed one out before I came here because I was in a hotel room and I'll probably

get six more out before I hit the lobby tomorrow and I don't know what that is about the lure of the

hotel room in beating off. I hope it's not universal because it means someone else was doing it

in my hotel room moments earlier. I question the wisdom of putting the porn on the pay-per-view

set right in front of the quilt in the

comforter there because I imagine as you lie on top of that comforter and you think,

what porn shall I buy you think, wait a minute, who was jacking off here and when were

they doing it?

Shouldn't there just be a separate area in the hotel that just says welcome jackers or something?

Or, you know, they'll have like smoke-free rooms. How about like a jack-free room?

I don't...

...