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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome into the Speak Easy, sophisticated sports talk with the best in the game.

I'm the large human being, nickname Care Bear, standing behind the bar, Kieran Hickey Simple.

And I'm joined here with two gentlemen who played in the National Football League, one of them at an all-pro level on special teams in 2014, according to pro football focus You're right. You right? You right? You right? See here's the thing. Judging me by my tackles is like judging a fish by its ability to climb a tree. I would actually say it's like judging a fish by its ability to swim. You're a linebacker. You're supposed to tackle people. I was a special teams player.

I was not out there just running around on defense.

...