Accidentally Squashing Your Partner's Excitement (When You're on Two Different Wavelengths in a Conversation): Episode 422
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 11 November 2025
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever shared an idea or dream with your spouse, something that genuinely excited you, only to have the energy immediately flattened by practicality or fear? In this episode, we're unpacking a dynamic that quietly drains energy and connection in many marriages: when one partner is in enthusiastic, imaginative energy and the other instantly shifts into logic and control mode. We'll explore why this happens, what it reveals emotionally for each partner, and how to respond in a way that keeps the energy between you alive instead of shutting it down.
In this episode you'll hear:
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The hidden psychology behind why partners "squash" enthusiasm (even with good intentions)
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How to frame a conversation for your partner from the start, so you're on the same wavelength
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Practical shifts that help you stay connected and engaged, even when you see things differently
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Why joining in the energy doesn't mean agreeing to every idea
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How this dynamic slowly erodes emotional intimacy if you don't adjust
If you've ever felt misunderstood for your excitement, or struggled to stay open when your spouse starts dreaming big, this conversation will help you both feel seen and stay on the same wavelength.
If this episode resonates, grab our 3-Guide Bundle—a powerful trio of tools that help you communicate and stay connected during the moments that matter most:
📘 De-Escalating Conflicts
📘 Making Up & Moving Forward
📘 The Family Meeting Guide
Get the bundle at meetthefreemans.com/links and start using the same tools we teach our couples every day.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring |
| 0:05.5 | relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same |
| 0:10.5 | team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, |
| 0:15.0 | but you all just know it says the Freeman's. And this episode is a good one. This is accidentally |
| 0:20.4 | squashing your partner's excitement. And this is when the two of you are in different wavelengths in a conversation. |
| 0:28.3 | So imagine yourselves. Well, actually just one of you goes up to the other partner is excited about something. Maybe it's an idea for a trip with the family. It's a business venture. |
| 0:39.9 | It's a cool video you watched. It's a new house or it's a new car that you've been wanting to get. |
| 0:46.1 | Or it's a camp that you think would be really cool for your kids. A shopping spree. |
| 0:50.9 | You're doing a lot that costs money, but they don't always cost money. But it's just |
| 0:55.6 | something that you're excited about. You have enthusiasm about. And then the other partner comes in |
| 1:01.6 | pretty quickly with questions. Well, how much does that cost? Well, we're already busy enough. |
| 1:08.0 | Do you really think we have time for that? Come on. We've already said |
| 1:11.8 | that's not a priority right now. So it could be questions, it could be comments. And the thing is, |
| 1:17.2 | they're not trying to come from a negative place, but it lands as being negative or squashing the |
| 1:24.5 | energy. Really, they're in a more logical frame of mind. And we're going to get |
| 1:30.6 | more into it. But even somewhat like the fears, the concerns. So one person basically is like |
| 1:36.1 | inspired, excited, coming in with vision, energy. And the other person is like, what about this? |
| 1:42.2 | What about that? Logic, concerns. |
| 1:45.8 | Let's talk about the reality of this. |
| 1:47.9 | I mean, it's really discouraging. |
| 1:49.2 | And I would say this is something that I did to you early on. |
| 1:54.0 | And it's something I need to pay attention to still nowadays. |
... |
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