Abuse Happens Every Nine Seconds Jan Langbein Ep 247
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
Don't Mom Alone Podcast
4.9 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2019
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Every nine seconds a woman is assaulted in America. It’s the kind of staggering statistic that shocks you into silence. It can make you feel powerless to help.
When Jan Langbein first heard that statistic, it rocked her. She found an avenue to get involved with violence intervention and was eventually hired to run Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support in Dallas.
Now, she’s worked to end violence against women and children for more than 20 years. God’s plan for her was bigger than she ever dreamed. On the podcast, she shares from the wealth of what she’s learned about:
- How to identify abuse in your own life and in others’
- How to respond to a friend in an abusive relationship
- What we can all do to work toward ending and preventing violence, especially in faith communities
“It's very hard being friends and family of someone who's being abused, because it's as if they are overcome by smoke. We see the house burning down, but they're tripping around in a house filled with smoke. So you say things like, you know what, when you are ready to talk about this, know that I'm going to be here for you. When you do feel like you ready for some resources, I'll have them for you.”
Warning: There are some very hard things to hear in this episode and some potentially triggering things if you’ve been in an abusive relationship of any kind.
I’m so thankful for Jan’s guidance and clarity on these hard topics. As believers, we’re called to press in to these uncomfortable places and be God’s hands and feet for women and children who are suffering. I pray you will listen with that in mind.
“I think God hates divorce. I know he hates abuse even worse. I think this makes God cry that women are not allowed to live the fullest life. We can serve others, but that doesn't mean at the risk of our own bodies and souls and our children's lives.”
What we chat about:
- How Jan got involved with violence intervention and eventual hired to run Genesis Women's Shelter & Support
- Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted in this country and 1 in 3 women have experienced abuse
- The ways abuse affects the children in a marriage/relationship
- How to respond to a friend who may be in an abusive relationship
- The services offered at a shelter like Genesis can provide for multiple needs from housing to legal help to counseling
- Faith communities and other men can be a part of the solution calling out abuse and not sweeping it under the rug
- Fear is an indication of abuse and verbal and emotional abuse precedes physical abuse
- Helping a friend go through the stages of change in coming out of abuse
- Abusers have the power and control in the relationship and the person being abused has the responsibility to serve their abuser
- What to watch for in our kids for signs of abuse
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hey y'all, welcome back to the Don't Mom Alone podcast. |
| 0:10.0 | I'm your host Heather McFadden and this is the place where I'm going to walk alongside |
| 0:14.4 | you and connect you with people and resources who remind you you don't mom alone. |
| 0:20.4 | In this episode number 247, I have the privilege of inviting on Jan Langbine. |
| 0:26.6 | She is the CEO of the Genesis Women's Shelter and Support here in Dallas, Texas. |
| 0:32.7 | If it feels abusive to her, it is. |
| 0:35.3 | When we talk about she's trying to decide what to do, he has told her three things. |
| 0:42.2 | No one will believe you, no one will hear you and no one will help you. |
| 0:45.8 | Even the way we respond in our shock and awe can sometimes reaffirm it's her fault. |
| 0:53.2 | Instead of saying, what did you do? |
| 0:55.7 | What did you do to get that black eye? |
| 0:57.8 | She didn't do anything, she was just standing there, right? |
| 1:00.9 | So we need to start asking the questions in the right way. |
| 1:03.4 | So that's sort of first. |
| 1:04.4 | So what are the questions in the right way? |
| 1:07.6 | Say, tell me why it is you have a black eye or that sounds very scary to me. |
| 1:12.7 | She doesn't want you to fix it. |
| 1:14.0 | She doesn't look to you as she emails you to solve it. |
| 1:17.9 | She just needs some direction. |
| 1:19.6 | First of all say, I am very scared for you. |
| 1:22.2 | I believe absolutely what you say. |
| 1:24.6 | I heard this old woman go on and on about how it's one out of, I normalize it for her. |
... |
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