The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, Bugleers and welcome to issue 19 of The Bugle, the world's only audio newspaper

that we've heard of.

For the week beginning Monday, March 3rd, 2008, with me Andy Zoltzman, now back safely

in civilisation in the glorious city of London and in New York, it's John Oliver.

Hello Bugles, hello Andy, all it feels better to have an ocean between us.

It does.

A Bugleers' Motivings is now, I took Andy to a basketball game on Friday night to the New

York Knicks and it was a guy behind us, I don't remember this Andy, who was arguing with

the steward about whether they had any culture food and it was on a Friday night.

Yeah, I can confirm that he's true.

That was a man who really wanted to have it both ways.

Yeah, he wanted to have his Jewish cake and he did it the wrong time of the week.

As always, some sections of the Bugle are going straight in the bin.

This week to mark the launch of the UK's hilarious new point system for assessing the

human worth of immigration seekers, the Bugle is offering its overseas listeners 10

free points to help you move into Britain.

These come in the form of this sentence.

I am a qualified brain surgeon, so do use that when trying to get into Britain.

Also in the bin is our special audio debt collection service.

And the only place to start the biggest news story of the millennium so far, three massive

atomic bombs have been detonated in England.

...