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including our gathering times in Atlanta and Washington, D.C., visit us online at PassionCitychurch.com.

Today's talk comes from Pastor Ben Stewart.

Well, I grew up in a household of faith.

My mother took us to church every Sunday,

and I grew up with the faith.

I put my faith in Jesus when I was a very little boy,

and it was real and somewhat simple.

But I remember as I got to college, I began to struggle. Why did one of my best

friends have to die? Why did my leg break? I had a desire to be successful at football, and my

femur was snapped in half, and that career came to a premature end in my view. I asked God to show me where to go to college,

and he didn't tell me. So I had to pick A&M out of desperation. When I got there, I had a girlfriend,

and she broke up with me, and I prayed for friends and didn't get any. But I became the

designated driver for my roommates. And I remember in the midst of all that, finally getting to the question of, hey, God, I believe you are good, I believe you love me, but why aren't you answering me and why is life playing out this way? Why is it so hard? And I got to a moment where I had to realize I'm either going to bifurcate and have a cute little

prayer life and ask God to bless this food man, nourish my body, when meanwhile I'm harboring resentment,

or I'm going to come real and try to have a real relationship with God. And so I made a choice

that I would go every day out to Lemon Tree Park, ironically named, for it had no lemon trees.

And I said, that's where God and I go to war.

I'm just going to be honest with him, and I'm going to risk bringing my frustration.

And I remember writing in my journal things that I didn't necessarily believe.

Well, kind of believed, maybe believed, probably didn't believe, but I didn't want anyone to read it. I wasn't necessarily believe well kind of believed maybe believed probably didn't

believe but I didn't want anyone to read it wasn't writing a memoir because I was just letting it flow

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