A Savant-like Ability for Evil
Back to the Barre
Christi Lukasiak & Kelly Hyland
4.8 • 4K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2026
⏱️ 106 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We're headed on the road in 2026! Buy tickets here:
https://www.x1entertainment.com/bttb
"The field notes for Candy Apples are unhinged. If you guys have never read the field notes for this episode then buckle up. It is possibly equal or crazier than some of our craziest stuff that has gone on. I don not know why they did not show any of this." And Christi isn't downplaying that either. Off screen an entire war was waged between Lucas' mom Bridget and Cathy, which left our Bitches floored by the sheer lunacy of the situation. While you got a taste of it in the episode proper, there's so much more name calling and subterfuge that it's honestly a little hard to keep track of!
This week the ALDC and Candy Apples will pair off again at Sheer Talent in New Jersey... which of course since Abby has a stake in that competition it seems rather unlikely out the gate the Apples will stand a chance. Cathy is aware of this and enlists Erin Babbs to choreograph for the Candy Apples, hoping it'll not only produce great results but also annoy Abby in the process since she lost to Babbs a little over a month prior. It certainly annoys Abby, but it's going to take Cathy busting out a megaphone to really get her blood boiling (and Production is only too eager to oblige).
Quotes
- “Ugh, Jess is always bad. She's kind of like the new Christi, in that she's always showing up with some ugly shit." (10:33-10:39 | Christi)
- “Oh my gosh, is Abby telling someone to listen to their mother?" (1:20:33-1:20:36 | Kelly)
- “My biggest question tho is I would really like to know where they were holding Vivi hostage? Because having Cathy come without Vivi is a world I don't want to live in." (1:24:56-1:25:08 | Christi)
- “Abby is going to deliver the line that literally is going to light, and I said this last week, every gas lantern in America. So all of you just raise your glasses in a universal toast because you are drinking to what is, not maybe, but definitively the biggest contradiction ever uttered in the history of Dance Moms." (1:34:43-1:35:12 | Christi)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Baby, let's just dance, dance, let's just dance. |
| 0:03.0 | Baby, I just wanna dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. |
| 0:07.0 | Can you feel it? Can you take it? |
| 0:10.0 | Can you come and freeze it? |
| 0:12.0 | All of this electricity. |
| 0:14.0 | Do it right now, bye, right now. |
| 0:17.0 | Turn the volume of, fly. |
| 0:19.0 | Give me your electricity. Hello, little bitchettes. Welcome back to the bar. It's bitch number one, Christy. Oh, my God. You sound like the guy from traitors. And bitch number two, Kelly. I didn't let you say hello. I'm sorry. I know, bitchettes. Welcome back to the bar. bar. Hello. There. It's giving you time to say hello. |
| 0:40.6 | What? You didn't say bitch number one. Oh. You got it all screwed up. Whatever. I don't even know what I'm doing half the time. Half the time. You know, I was watching another podcast because remember you said, oh, I didn't know podcasts were on Netflix. So I put one on just to see like what it looks like. Yeah. God, they're so professional. Oh, really? Not like us? No. But now that you're in Pittsburgh, I'm like, why don't we have a studio that we just go to? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're both here. It's kind of nice, though, to just kind of be in the house. |
| 1:12.8 | Well, of course it is. |
| 1:13.8 | But also, I mean, like, it probably would do us well to have a studio with like a tech person. |
| 1:21.3 | Probably. |
| 1:22.3 | Yes. |
| 1:23.5 | Probably. |
| 1:24.3 | I'm just saying. |
| 1:25.8 | Okay. |
| 1:26.6 | So it's a little bit weird for us right now to record these because we're recording |
| 1:31.4 | stuff so close together, which we normally don't do. |
| 1:34.4 | But when this one airs, it is the week of Brookie's wedding. |
| 1:40.6 | So this is airing on Monday and Saturday she's going to be a married woman. |
| 1:45.8 | Oh, that's so scary. |
| 1:47.2 | Oh, my God, did you have the birds and bees talk with her? |
... |
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