A reframing of masculinity, rooted in empathy | Gary Barker

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2024

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Urging us to turn away from voices perpetuating harmful stereotypes, gender equality advocate Gary Barker shares three insights on fostering a culture of care, compassion and connection among men. "We are the most wired-to-care species on the planet," he says. "But if you don't use it ... you don't get good at it."

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ted Audio Collective.
0:09.0	You're listening to Ted Talks Daily.
0:10.0	I'm your host, Elise Hugh.
0:13.0	Women are often paying the price when culture
0:15.8	teaches a version of manhood that's all about competition
0:19.2	and conquest instead of care.
0:22.2	Gender equity advocate Gary Barker lays it out in his
0:25.4	2023 Ted Women Talk and explains why we all have a stake in changing this and
0:31.2	how after the break.
0:38.0	This is a hard conversation. I want to start with that.
0:39.4	Well, let's step into it.
0:41.1	It was 1977. Jimmy Carter was president, Queen was playing on the radio. I was
0:49.0	having lunch in my high school cafeteria in Houston, Texas, when we heard a young man shouting at another
0:57.0	young man next to him saying, you stole my girlfriend and I'm going to make you pay.
1:01.6	He pulled out a pistol and as about a hundred of us looked on, he shot and killed him.
1:08.0	Two years later, I was a freshman, big state university, Friday night, in the dorm room.
1:17.0	Music, beer, five young men,
1:20.0	take a young woman back to one of the rooms and force her to have sex.
1:25.0	There was no investigation at the time, no one called it rape,
1:29.0	no one said sexual violence.
1:31.0	These two events are what drove me to do this work.
1:38.1	I worked with survivors of violence around the world.
	...

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