A prayer for God's presence when you feel helpless by Emily Rose Massey, read by Leah Martin.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help.

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 121, 1 through 2.

We started receiving our hospital bills from our youngest son's birth, and on the breakdown

of the five-hour NIC use day, resuscitation was listed.

Of course seeing that word in black and white really hit me.

Clearly the Lord needed him here.

Perhaps his life will have great purpose on earth.

But his first three months of life were so incredibly difficult that it was hard to

see beyond the moment.

Collick was absolute torture on his tiny body, and if I'm being honest, absolute torture

on the whole family.

When he was about eight weeks old, I tried to leave the house for about an hour to get

a break.

My husband got off work and said he'd watch the boys for me.

I barely made it on to the highway when I got a text from my husband that I needed to come

back home.

Our son was inconsolable, and he was refusing a bottle.

I walked in the door and grabbed my son and gave my husband a scowling look of disappointment.

In that moment, I was reminded that we're selfish creatures, and when something's difficult

or an inconvenience to our personal comfort, our flesh can't take it, we want to lash out

...