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Captain, an unidentified ship approaching. Over.

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All right. I can see the coupon special worked.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

So illegal aliens detained at alligator Alcatraz are mad because their ham sandwiches aren't toasted.

Meanwhile, the alligators are complaining that the detainees aren't toasted either.

In that now infamous interview making the rounds, Hunter Biden said that illegal immigrants

do all the jobs that nobody wants to. For example, harvesting, processing, and selling him cocaine.

Hunter also said he thinks of Kamala Harris as family,

promising that if she ever passed away,

he would immediately bang Doug.

It's not gay if he's a widow, er.

But he also says that he loves Kamala like his own daughter,

which of course is a stretch because he's met Kamala.

Ha!

Deadbeat Dad section didn't like that.

Yes.

...