Welcome to Back from the Abyss. I'm Dr. Craig Hecock.

Over the last seven seasons, we've done a few episodes on addiction and recovery,

but this is the first one about a medical professional and the uniquely precarious situation

that nurses and doctors face if they decide to get into treatment. Nurses and doctors

are given special permission by licensing agencies to take care of others

in the most vulnerable moments of their lives. And these same nurses and doctors are also

entrusted to manage and distribute controlled substances, such as opioids, stimulants, and

benzodiazepines. Combine the high-stress environment of a hospital, the daily

immersion in fear and loss and suffering, the easy access to addictive substances, the inherent

secrecy and shame of addiction, and finally the fears of losing the right to practice medicine,

and you have a recipe for medical

professionals to both fall into addiction and not seek help. Today's storyteller Kate

started her addiction journey at a young age, using substances as a salve for her terrible grief.

Later, drugs and alcohol helped her to cope with the transition to nursing

and the unending demands of a hospital setting.

But as with all addicts, this strategy worked until it didn't.

Kate eventually had to find a new way to cope

if she was going to survive past her 30s.

I was born into a different birth order than I'm in now.

I'm currently the oldest, and I really exemplify the older sister syndrome.

I like to fix things.

I like to make sure all the ducks are in a row.

...