This TED Talk features publisher Bob Stein,

recorded live at TED Residency 2017.

So I grew up white, secular, and middle class in 1950s America.

That meant watching fireworks on the 4th of July,

trick-or-treating on Halloween and putting presents under a tree at Christmas.

But by the time those traditions got to me, they were hollow commercial enterprises, which just

left me feeling empty. So from a relatively young age, I found myself looking to fill an existential

hole, to connect with something bigger than myself.

There hadn't been a bar mitzvah in my family in over a century, so I thought I'd take a shot

at that, only to be devastated when I wanted counter with the rabbi, a really tall, godlike figure

with flowing white hair,

consisted of him asking me for my middle name so he could fill out a form.

Yep, that was it.

So I got the fountain pen, but I didn't get the sense of belonging and confidence I was searching for.

Many years later, I couldn't bear the thought of my son turning 13 without some kind of right of passage. So I came up with the idea of a 13th birthday trip,

and I offered to take Murphy anywhere in the world that had meaning for him. A budding young

naturalist who loved turtles, he immediately settled on the Galapagos.

And when my daughter Katie turned 13, she and I spent two weeks at the bottom of the Grand Canyon,

where Katie learned for the first time that she was powerful and brave.

Since then, my partner Ashton and lots of our friends and relatives

have taken their kids on 13th birthday trips

with everyone finding it transformative for both the child and the parent.

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