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The Dr. Laura Podcast

A Mother’s Grief and Guilt After Losing Her Son in Service

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

Grandparents, Podcast, Love, Marriage, Sexuality, Marriage 101, Confrontation, Relationships, Couples, Well-being, Exercise, Workout, In-laws, Shacking Up, Counseling, Society & Culture, Health & Well-being, Parenting, Triumph, Feuds, Surviving A Shark Attack On Land, Power, Healing, Messing Up, Emotions, Quote, Procrastination, Divorce, Kids & Family, Dr Laura Schlessinger, Childhood, Wisdom, Responsibility, Do The Right Thing, Goals, Inspiration, Dating, Stay-at-home Dads, Lesbian, Life, Kids, Dr Laura, Family, Ethics, Siriusxm, The Ten Commandments, Sex, Social Media, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Snowflakes, Stay-at-home Moms, Co-parenting, Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands, Stop Whining Start Living, Strength, Workplace, Ultimate Guide To Marriage, Single Parenting, Gay, Courage, Stress, Grief, Love & Life, Fitness, Coping, Conscience, Woman Power, God, Health, Feelings, Parenthood By Proxy, Friendship

4.66.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ashley is struggling to cope with the devastating loss of her son, who died while on active duty. Overwhelmed by grief and anger, she finds herself haunted by a painful thought—wishing it had been his friend instead. Now, she wrestles with guilt and questions whether she owes his friend an apology as she tries to navigate her complicated emotions. Got a dilemma? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com - Listen to The Dr. Laura Program daily on SiriusXM Triumph 123.

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:06.4

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0:12.0

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0:17.7

Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at

0:26.3

Dr. Laura.com. Ashley, welcome to the program. Ashley, how can I help?

0:33.5

I told your screener. I would try not to cry, so I will keep it short.

0:42.0

My son, who was in special forces, about three years ago, was killed in action.

0:48.9

Oh.

0:49.7

Oh.

0:50.0

And I went through counseling to learn to grieve and move on, not forget, but just move on.

1:03.2

And about a month ago, I ran in or somebody, a gentleman who was also on my son's team had recognized me and came over and gave me a big hug

1:19.2

and thanked me for my son who had saved him. At the time, my son was also a medic.

1:32.0

And since then, I've had a few times where I thought I wish it was him and not my son.

1:45.8

And the guilt that I'm feeling for having that thought,

1:50.7

and by no means, do I wish this incredibly young man any harm?

1:57.3

I just, it's in my own thoughts, but I feel really, really bad about it.

2:06.9

When you have the bad thought, the best thing to do is not give it lunch and put a blanket

2:15.6

over its feet to keep it toasty comfortable.

2:19.5

The best thing to do with a bad thought is to replace it with, considering what the story

2:26.6

you just told me, with immense pride that your husband, I'm sorry, your son was so brave that he saved somebody else and eventually

2:40.4

had to sacrifice his life. You see, I think we can stay in a mud pile forever with wishing somebody else was dead in his place,

2:55.4

with wishing him back, with feeling guilty, we supported him going to them.

...

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