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Dr. Laura.com. Ashley, welcome to the program. Ashley, how can I help?

I told your screener. I would try not to cry, so I will keep it short.

My son, who was in special forces, about three years ago, was killed in action.

Oh.

Oh.

And I went through counseling to learn to grieve and move on, not forget, but just move on.

And about a month ago, I ran in or somebody, a gentleman who was also on my son's team had recognized me and came over and gave me a big hug

and thanked me for my son who had saved him. At the time, my son was also a medic.

And since then, I've had a few times where I thought I wish it was him and not my son.

And the guilt that I'm feeling for having that thought,

and by no means, do I wish this incredibly young man any harm?

I just, it's in my own thoughts, but I feel really, really bad about it.

When you have the bad thought, the best thing to do is not give it lunch and put a blanket

over its feet to keep it toasty comfortable.

The best thing to do with a bad thought is to replace it with, considering what the story

you just told me, with immense pride that your husband, I'm sorry, your son was so brave that he saved somebody else and eventually

had to sacrifice his life. You see, I think we can stay in a mud pile forever with wishing somebody else was dead in his place,

with wishing him back, with feeling guilty, we supported him going to them.

...