Guest Bio: Married since 1986, Ron and Nan Deal are the authors of the #1 Amazon bestselling book The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself, as well as popular marriage conference speakers. Ron is the bestselling author of more than a dozen books and resources, a licensed marriage and family therapist, podcast host, and a Senior Director for the ministry of FamilyLife®. Nan retired from teaching after 25 years and currently works for a Christian non-profit ministry. They have three sons, a daughter-in-law, one grandson, and a golden retriever and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. 

Show Summary: Have you faced a breaking point within your marriage or a close relationship? How did you handle it? Ron and Nan Deal faced intense hardship when their twelve-year-old son passed away. As they’ve navigated the loss, they’ve discovered practical truths about marriage that they feel are important for everyone to know when it comes to approaching relational hardship. Join hosts Eryn Eddy Adkins and Vivian Mabuni for this insightful God Hears Her conversation as they learn how to handle conflict and pain while trusting God.  

Notes and Quotes:  

“The flesh is the biblical word for that part of us that just goes into automatic reaction mode. We now know, neurologically, that there’s a whole lot of stuff going on inside the brain. The body keeps the score and the brain tells the body how to make sense of that score so anytime you feel any threat to not feeling loved or not feeling emotionally safe in a relationship, it taps into some things that are hardwired into your brain and body by the time you’re an adult—probably hardwired by the age of two.” —Ron Deal 

“Your body may keep the score, but your mind gets to tell you how to respond to the score.” —Ron Deal 

“What God is inviting me to do is to be self-controlled, to discipline me, and bring a better me to our us.” —Ron Deal 

“With God’s help, I can live out of His spirit. But I’ve had to ask and pray and surrender.” —Nan Deal 

“It truly is a work that He will do in you. Five to six years ago, I was a slave to my emotions and my circumstances. I listened to the enemy and I believed the lies and then the lies became truth. It’s not an easy fix or an easy unraveling, but it’s a daily walk now.” —Nan Deal 

“You have to figure out . . . who is this God and how do I serve Him when I hate my circumstances?” —Ron Deal 

“What I know is that God has been there every second. Even when I turned my back on him and said, ‘You are untrustworthy, I don’t love you anymore, I’m doubting in you, where were you, you didn’t show up the way I wanted.’ Even in all of that, when I hit bottom and surrendered, He said, ‘I never left you. I love you. Please let me show you that. We’re going to go now on a journey of you learning to trust in me . . . holding my hand even if life doesn’t look the way you want it to look.’ That’s my God.” —Nan Deal 

Verses:  

Romans 12:2 

Related Episodes:  

• GHH Ep 188 – Grace in Marriage with Chelsea Damon: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/grace-in-marriage/ 
• GHH Ep 198 – Unexpected Grief with Dawn Mann Sanders: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/unexpected-grief/ 
• GHH Ep 214 – Refining A Broken Marriage with Justin and Trisha Davis: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/refining-a-broken-marriage/ 

Links:  

• God Hears Her website: https://go.odb.org/ghh191  
• Subscribe to the God Hears Her YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@GodHearsHerODBM 
• The Mindful Marriage by Ron and Nan Deal: https://rondeal.org/channels-resources/the-mindful-marriage-conference 
• Coping Style Quiz: https://www.worthypub.com/assessment 
• Not Easily Broken by Joyce and Steven Dinkins: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Easily-Broken-Wisdom-Marriage/dp/1640704566